Young & In Love || 18+

Chapter 4: We Cuddled

The boys didn't take as long as we thought they would. They went in and out of the store. Xioe and I did some more assignments that I hadn't done. It really was a lot of work and I didn't even know how it got this bad because last year wasn't this bad and apparently next year is supposed to be worse. Next year will be my junior year and a lot of people say it's tough. I think it's because it's the year right before senior year meaning people are trying to get their grades up to pass and be done with high school. Honestly, I don't get how I've made it this far.

The day went by and all of us were done for. We had worked for hours and we did well. It was nice and fun and every now and then Ryder would help me. He would sometimes come over to my bed, sit next to me, and show me a few things or explain something to me. I loved the way he explained things especially with the slight accent he has.

He was born in Florida like me but his parents are both Dominican Republic. He doesn't have much of an accent like his grandparents and somewhat of his parents but when it does come out it is so sexy. He knows a little bit of Spanish and I love it when he plays his guitar and sings to us. His voice is beautiful and the meaning behind every word is lovely. His heart is pure and his voice is golden, I don't see how I didn't fall for him sooner. Another thing about him is that he knows how to keep eye contact even when he is singing. I always liked that about him. It makes me nervous but his eyes are just so pretty that I can't help but look. I love when he sings to me and just me. I know that sounds selfish but I just feel special. I feel like he wrote them for me.

Alas, my mind starts to ramble and go places that they shouldn't like, how would it feel to be closer to him or how would it feel to be loved by him? I've never seen him in love before or even have a girlfriend. In fact, the only people who have been in relationships in our friend group were Josh and Xioe but they were always dating someone. Eventually, they started dating each other and it's been that way ever since. They matured and grew out of their messing around phases. I'm glad they are happy but I really wanted to see Ryder happy.

He looked like a man who would love deeply and like he would never intentionally hurt anyone. I would love to be loved by him but I can't tell him because there are so many things that could go wrong.

I hate that I overthink this but my mind just does that. It overthinks everything. I mean like what if when we kiss and I don't do it right or what if when we do it for the first time it won't be good? What if he cheats and leaves me for someone else? I have no idea why I would ever think he would but I overthink things which is why I've never dated. Sure, Ryder has never had a girlfriend but he's been on quite a few dates and even a few hookups but it was never our business so we never asked unless he wanted to tell us.

Like I said, he was a troublemaker with women because he was so easy to fall for. Of course he wasn't a player but he looked like he lost interest quickly. I would probably lose interest too if I had a bunch of girls who I didn't want sitting in front of me all the damn time. They were thirsty for him and I wasn't. Yes, I like him but if he doesn't want me then I'll take the hint and move on. After all, there are other people out there for me. Maybe even a special someone.

Minutes had passed since the guys had left and I could not sleep. I thought that after all that stress I should relax in the tub but I couldn't relax when all I was thinking about was him. He was constantly on my mind and I didn't know why. Another reason why I couldn't sleep was because my insomnia wouldn't let me. It was bad since I have tried almost every medicine in the book.

I wanted it to stop but it wouldn't stop. I just sunk deeper and deeper into my thoughts until finally I found myself falling asleep but I was awakened by a sudden movement in the room. I jolted up to see a figure standing in the corner and I immediately got scared. I lied back down trying to make it seem like I was asleep so the person wouldn't think I was awake.