Little Miss Imperfect

Eggs and panic attacks

                            ~Alissa~

It scared me seeing Luz huddled on the ground having a panic attack. She isn't the type to cry and my heart sank when I heard her say she lost her mom. I didn't want to push it further and ask questions so I just accepted it and comforted her.

The next morning when I looked down and found her staring back at me. She looked so small in my arms. "Morning Alissa," she softly said to me, shuffling slightly.
"Morning Luz," I responded smiling. The way she looked at me with that little smile of hers made my heart melt into a puddle.

I slowly got up helping Luz as I did so. "Let's make some breakfast," I told her as we walked to the kitchen.
"Yeah ok, I'll make the eggs," she mumbled, giving me a quick squeeze from behind. We weaved through the kitchen working in harmony to make a delicious breakfast. By time we were done Luz had finally fully woken up and acted like her normal self again.

"I told you, you were going to burn the eggs," she sighed playfully, plopping herself onto the chair next to me.
"You can't blame me, you're so damn hot," I exasperated.
Luz smirked at me and shuffled onto my lap. "Oh really," Luz whispered right next to my ear. I felt my cheeks heat up. I brought my mouth closer to her ear. "As hot as this is, I have work to do after breakfast."

She looked at me disappointed. "You're no fun," she grumbled.
"I promise to make it up to you later," I giggled while picking up a piece of bacon. This made her smile. "Oh I can't wait."

I tried to make good on that promise but my case worker interrupted our intense make out session. "Uge I'm so sorry but I have to take this," I moaned getting up from the bed.
"It's fine I guess."

                           ~Luz~

Alissa has got me all messed up and kinda desperate but I know that she really does have to take that call. I just wish it could have been after we were done. I got up from the bed and headed to the living room. Shuffling furiously I tried to get comfortable on the couch. I closed my eyes finally after a few moments but got disrupted by Alissa barging in.

"Bitch I'm panicking!!!!" She shouted charging toward me.
"What's wrong?" I tried to sound calm.
"Everything has been finalized and Angela has gotten a private detective for my case," she panicked.
"That's great, then why are you panicking?" I was genuinely confused.

She stopped for a second and sat down next to me. "I don't know. I guess it just feels all too real this time," Alissa softly mumbled. My heart took a hit. This must be so hard for her. She's been through so much."Don't worry princess, I'm sure that everything will go well," I muttered while running my fingers through her hair.

"Everything will be just fine."

                            ~Alissa~

The next morning I decided to give Solar a visit because it had been so long since we last hung out one on one.

I knocked at her door as I stood in the chilly morning air. "Oh my gosh hi Alissa, come in!" The words basically spilled out of her mouth as she motioned for me to come in. I entered the house and took in the familiar feeling of comfort that surrounded me every time I came over.

It was always a nice way to get away from my dad for a bit.

I made myself comfortable on the couch as Solar locked the door and came to sit on the opposite side. "Soo how you holding up?"
After a moment I spoke. "Ok for the most part," I replied while looking at the wall behind her.

"Do want to talk about it?" She asked genuinely.
I nodded.
She waited for me to start talking.
"If I'm honest I'm tired of my life right now and I wish I didn't have to live it even if this is for the best. I really just don't want to be anywhere," I managed to choke out instead of crying.

She looked at me.

"I hate every thing at this point and I especially hate myself!" This time I said it with more anger.

...

"Do you want to kill your self?" She asks,and the question feels unreal. No one ever asks you that question in real life. "I don't want you to... do that." Solar whispered while taking my hand in between hers.

I couldn't stop the tears running down my face.
"No I don't really..." I barely said.

"Does this have anything to do with you not eating anymore?"

I nod slowly.

"I don't know what to say but just remember Alissa I love you so much and you are the best friend I could ever ask for," Solar pulled me into a hug.

"I'm sorry," I cried into her chest.
"You shouldn't be."

We had a much needed conversation that day.

Notes:
She burned the eggs cause they where making out.