Little Miss Imperfect

I'm Sorry

Tw: sh scars

~Alissa~

I have never been so scared to go home in my life I had never been late until now, but when I opened the door my dad wasn't home. I let out a sigh of relief. He was probably getting shit faced somewhere with his friends. He did that a lot leaving me to clean the inevitable mess that he would leave.
I grabbed a cucumber from the fridge and chopped it up (something to hold me over till tomorrow) before going up the stairs. I ate my food then finished my dreadful art homework, before finally curling up in bed to fall asleep. Anything but facing my thoughts was a great thing to be doing. Luckily my dad didn't come back during the night.

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The morning was quiet. A little too quiet. I guess my dad never came home. Although he wasn't home I did everything in slight fear of him showing up but this time didn't bother with trying to be me. I put on a white short sleeved shirt with a black jacket and jeans. I picked up my bag, frowned at myself in the mirror for an embarrassing amount of time before I headed down the stairs.

I looked into the fridge and realised we had no food and that was in there was an apple and a stale slice of bread. I didn't want to be on the receiving end of my father having nothing to eat. I decided would do some shopping later. I left the house and made my way to the bus stop while listening to Taylor Swift. I hated being left alone with the thoughts that plagued my mind. They were gruesome and often difficult for lack of a better word.

The ride to school was boring as usual and nothing changed when I went into the school. I greeted my two lovebird friends and pretended nothing happened yesterday. They luckily followed suit and didn't mention it, instead opting for a debate wether Pentagon was a good name for Solars kitten. The bell rang, we parted ways and I made my way over to art.

I sat down at a canvas and started to paint. I didn't notice when someone came and sat down next to me. "So how you doing Ali?" I heard a breathy whisper next to me. A shiver went down my spine heightening my senses. "You haven't called me that in a while," I said, finally looking Luz in the eyes. There was a pause. "Yeah," she finally said, pulling out her paints.

We sat and painted in near silence until the end of class. There were a few short conversations here and there but nothing more. As everyone left the room Luz packed her stuff away. She hummed genesis to herself as she organised her supplies then her eyes wondered over to me. She gazed into my eyes,making my heart feel all fuzzy, before her gaze lowered. She looked at my jacket sleeves. A beat passed, she started to pull them up. "You should roll back your sleeves when worki-."
She stopped.
I quickly pulled my sleeves back down.

She didn't say anything for a few moments then looked me in my eyes. "You did this, didn't you?"
I didn't say anything. I don't know what I was expecting but it definitely wasn't a hug. She embraced me and whispered softly. "You don't deserve that."

~Luz~

The bell rang for the second period and we realised that we had to go. "I've got chemistry, how bout you? I decided against pushing the subject of her scars." I asked getting up.
"Same," Alissa said, picking up her bag. We walked to chemistry together in silence and got there just in time. A weird feeling lingering in the air as we walked, seemingly Alissa chose to ignore it. We sat in the back and Alissa immediately turned her focus on the teacher. I have to admit I stared at her instead of the teacher for the better part of the lesson.
Damn.
This was not the best time for my feelings to start bubbling again.

I tried my best to write down a few notes however I nearly dozed off during the lesson but my ears perked up when I heard the teacher mention a group project. "You will be partners with the person next to you," he said as the bell went off. Alissa turned to me. "So...mine at 4?" She asked standing up.
That was direct.
I felt my cheeks slightly warm up at the idea of going to her house. Luckily she didn't seem to notice. "Yeah," I responded as she left the room.

This was going to be interesting.

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The rest of the day was boring and I didn't even have any other class with Alissa. Esparia ran off with her girlfriend for the majority of the day so I was left to my own devices.
After school  I met Alissa outside the school where she gave me her number and house address before she headed home. I decided to go find Esparia since it was 3:05 and I had time to kill. I found her at the field in the middle of rugby practice so I decided to watch for a bit. One of my favourite pass times indeed, watching women running around in tight uniforms. A dream. I left around 3:30 after a decent show and got onto my bike.

Even tho I drove slowly I reached Alissa's house 5min early. "she won't mind," I thought out loud as I knocked at the door. Almost instantly she opened the door and her head popped out. "Oh hey Luz come in!" She said walking deeper into the house. I took off my shoes and closed the door then followed her tentatively. My eyes wandered across the walls looking for clues on what type of life she lived now. But they were bare and sorrowful.

I found her looking through her book shelf. With great effort I managed not to stare for too long. I sat down on the floor in front of her bed and grabbed my chemistry book. Alissa sat down next to me and we got to work. After about an hour of her doing most of the work and me talking about the best cinematic experiences we decided to take a break, I found a short film on my laptop and we snuggled up under a blanket. As it got colder Alissa scooted closer to me. The hairs in my arms stood straight and goosebumps lined my skin. My head started to hang low as a wave of drowsiness washed over me until my head was on her shoulder.

I could feel myself turn red. I wish I didn't like her. The thought of Alissa's being weaved through my brain distracting me from the scene that was playing in front of me.

"Are we ok?" She asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked at her. "Of course we're ok... I forgive you." I thought about the last part carefully before saying it. "I'm sorry," she whispered into the air. " I'm sorry for leaving you there in the house. I'm so sorry." She sounded like she was about to cry. I pulled her in and let her cry until she fell asleep. My heart filled with even more love for her as I took in her scent. Strong but sweet, just like her.

After a while I got up and carefully placed her head on a pillow. I felt wrong leaving her without an explanation, so I left a note
It read:

You fell asleep idiot so I made my way home. We'll finish off another day.
I enjoyed spending time with you, see you at school. ;)

Notes:
They were painting trees in art.