puppy love:
the first kind of romantic love we feel as teenagers.
In which two teenagers fall in love and change each other, not knowing that sometimes that change isn't a good thing.
Read if you like something that's sort of a slow burn but not re...
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Medicine- daughter ———————————————————— ⚠️Tw for this chapter- s.h, mentions of e.d, mentions of domestic abuse⚠️ ———————————————————— Lilith had never truly gotten used to the way her life would spiral at any inconvenience. The way that she'd be happy one day, have a riff with someone, and suddenly everything would be melancholy and blue again.
She truly hated it. She hated the fact that she relied so heavily on ashtray to make her happy, that the smallest falling out between them would push her into the worst vertical drop she could experience.
She'd relapsed. That was a given- of course she relapsed. It was Lilith, she was weak. She acted strong, sure, but oh dear, she was the weakest person she knew.
When someone says they relapse, they could mean a plethora of things.
"I started to cut myself again." "I took drugs again to drown it all out." "I started counting my calories and shoving my fingers down my throat again." "I've stared to starve myself whenever I can again."
And so on. The list could be endless. A relapse isn't always just one solid, a relapse could imply multiple relapses at once.
And, Lilith had relapsed in ways she thought she'd finally moved past. She thought she was strong enough to get over her old triggers and the things she used to do to herself, she thought she was finally grown out of her childhood mental health problems.
Well, clearly fucking not.
It wasn't her fault, and anyone would kill to be able to make her see that. But, in her shoes, it's not as easy as that. Anyone who has dealt with her mindset, knows that no matter how hard you try, you will blame yourself for every little mishap in EVERYONES life.
She sat cross-legged in front of her full length mirror smoking a cigarette dully while staring at her reflection.
Messy unwashed hair, mascara and other makeup products sticking dry to her pale skin, cuticles and skin bitten and picked away, lips chapped and cracking, she was a whole mess.
She sighed, looking over at her phone as it buzzed, ashtrays contact lighting up the screen.
You may be wondering how long it'd been since their argument.
Lilith wasn't really sure. All the days had began blending into themselves to create one long, suffocating loop, so time was sort of unrecognisable to her by now. But, it had for sure been at least two days.
Her boyfriend had left countless messages, calls, FaceTimes, voicemails, snapchats etc apologising, telling her he loved her, telling her he didn't know why he reacted the way he did, telling her to come over so they could talk it out and order a pizza or something.
