Ahsoka Tano One-Shots

Mess Hall Clean Up

Heyo, human beings from outer space!

I was mentally laughing very hard as I wrote this, imagining each detail. 

Read on if you dare. 

"But, Rex, why do we–"

"You know what?!" Rex slammed his fist down on the table. He was so tired of all this whining and complaining. "I can't believe I'm saying this. I'll take care of the mess myself. JUST GET OUT OF MY KRIFFING SIGHT!!"

"Sir, yes sir!" Fives, Jesse, and Hardcase scampered out of the mess hall faster than Jawas ran to a crashed ship on Tattoine.

Rex turned around to face the filthy mess hall and groaned. Food splattered the walls. Tables were crooked and some bashed against each other. It was a disaster and a half. Rex groaned.

Grudgingly, Rex snatched the mop and got to work. He wished that those three weren't so troublesome. What were they thinking, getting themselves into a food fight like that? Sometimes, Rex wished they would act like the mature men they were supposed to be.

Then again, they needed those childish moments away from the brutal war. Rex sighed and got to work, scrubbing the floor.

Rex grumbled as he worked. He had reports to file, barracks to check, and even a briefing to attend. And what was he doing? Cleaning up a mess that he didn't make! Additionally, the song playing in the mess hall was very annoying.

Ugh! His men were more like annoying children than sophisticated, well-trained soldiers.

The song echoing around the mess hall faded away, switching to a new song. Rex recognized the song right away. He couldn't help but move his feet to the beat of the music as he mopped, his spirits already brightening.

His feet kept in perfect time with the beat of the music. His scrubbing became synchronized with the micro beats of the song.

Rex started humming along by the time it reached the chorus. He couldn't help himself. This was his favourite song!

As the song finished the chorus, Rex sang softly with the music.

"Soft she was, like a fairy, And her shoes were number nine. Herring boxes without topses. Were the shoes for Clementine!"

His volume rose as he continued with the chorus.

"Oh my darlin', oh my darlin', oh my darlin' Clementine! You are gone and lost forever, hopeful sorry, Clementine!"

Rex's voice grew louder and louder. He slipped into the mesmerising tune of the song, using the end of the mop as a microphone.

"She brought ducklings to the water, every morning just at nine! Hit her foot against a splinter, fell into the foamy brine!"

Rex leapt onto the nearest mess hall table and began belting the song with a surprisingly unpushed tone and perfect pitch. His timing was spot-on.

"Oh my darling, oh my darling, Oh my darling Clementine! You are lost and gone forever, dreadful sorry Clemantine!"

Rex couldn't help but add a little choreography to the whole mix. He danced along, keeping in perfect time with the number. His mop-microphone never got in the way.

"Ruby lips above the water, blowing bubbles soft and fine! Alas for him he was no swimmer, so he lost his clementine!"

For the last chorus of the song, Rex gave it his all, pouring himself into the gorgonizing music.

"Oh my darling, oh my darling, Oh my darling Clementine! You are lost and gone forever, hopeful sorry Clemantine! You are lost and gone forever, hopeful sorry Clemantine! You are lost and gone forever, hopeful sorry Clemantiiiine!"

Rex finished the song with a dramatic ritardando and leapt off the table. He skidded to a stop on his knees, his mop-microphone transformed into an imaginary guitar that he strummed passionately.

When the song ended, Rex stood to his feet and bowed to a non-existent audience. He grinned widely. Rex finally felt better. He listened to the applause of the imaginary audience and took a second bow, politely refusing the on core.

Surprisingly, clapping that wasn't just in Rex's head applauded behind him... along with a whole lot of laughter.

"What was that, Rex?" Ahsoka laughed behind him.

"C-commander..." Rex felt the colour drain from his face. "You didn't see that, did you?"

"I saw it... I saw all of it!" Ahsoka wheezed between laughter. "I even got it on video." She held up her datapad with an installed cam.

"W-what?" Rex panicked. "You better delete it!"

"No! It's hilarious. This is a valuable material, Rex," Ahsoka said. "And you know what the funniest part is?"

"I don't know if I want to," Rex groaned.

"You actually sounded really good!" Ahsoka snorted. "You could be a professional. You sound nothing like Fives."

"Commander," Rex pleaded. "Don't show this to anyone. Please, please, please!"

"Okay, I won't," Ahsoka agreed surprisingly easily. "But I'm not deleting it. And if you try to get it deleted, I'll show it to the whole 501st."

"Deal," Rex sighed. "What were you even doing in here?"

"I bumped into Fives, Hardcase, and Jesse and they were in a big hurry. They told me about the food fight and how you were cleaning it up. I thought I'd come help," Ahsoka shrugged. "I'm still willing to help if you want any."

"Sure, Kid, thanks," Rex handed her his mop shakily. He went off to grab a new one.

Rex and Ahsoka cleaned the mess hall in silence, but Rex knew that she was smirking and silently laughing behind his back. 

------------------

Word Count: 939

Published: May 4, 2022

Eeeek! I'm silently laughing, too! 

Requests are open, feel free to message me or make a comment if you have any ideas. 

May the 4th be with you!