Heyo, human beings from outer space!
Guess what???? I GOT AO3!!!! Yay! I'd been thinking about getting it for a while so I finally did and I've published a new story (that is not here on Wattpad) if you wanna go read that after you (hopefully) read this one.
So, anyways, contrary to what you may believe based on the title, no worries, this is a very lighthearted and laughable chapter.
Read on if you dare.
HOLORECORDING ACTIVATED
0100 HOURS
"The enemy just struck. It was an ambush, a barrage of water balloons. CT - 6116 (Kix) and I were both subjects. The attack happened approximately four minutes ago in the barracks on bunks 349 and 563 while both of us were sleeping. The enemies fled right after the attack and we took refuge here in the hangar behind these crates. It's the only cover we have.
"We have no idea when they will strike next, or where. We have no accurate estimation of their weaponry or supplies. There is no pattern to their attacks. Every assault is spontaneous and unpredictable. We are rendered completely helpless in the middle of this battle. A battle we know we cannot win."
0200 HOURS
"The enemy has struck again! CT - 7567 (Rex) was assaulted in the middle of the hallway. The weapon: a large cup of blue milk, which had been dumped upon him from the vents above. We may assume who exactly made the attack, but there were no sightings of the enemy and we have no other witnesses.
"In the time between attacks, CT - 6116 (Kix) and I traveled from the hanger. We planned to part ways at the med-bay, in which we are headed now. We turned the corner right as the milk was dumped from the vent above, drenching our fearless captain. Before any other actions could be made, the enemy left the scene.
"The med-bay is only a few steps away, where we will hopefully find safety, at least for a little while– Oh! Ooooh, kriff... oooookay. Kix just got a bucket of ice water dumped on him. Yep. Uhuh. He's gonna use some choice words now. The log will continue when he calms down or maybe at the next attack."
0300 HOURS
"It's been an hour since the last attack. Correction, it was a double-attack. If the enemy does not strike again this hour, this could possibly indicate that the enemy is low on supplies or planning a large-scale attack. We can only hope it is the former.
"CT - 6116 (Kix) and I are still waiting it out in the med-bay. We decided not to part ways. The enemy may have stuck elsewhere, but for now, it is calm here. CT - 7567 (Rex) will join us soon, once he's finished doing some boring files and scrubbing blue milk out of his hair."
0300 HOURS, STILL
"CT - 7567 (Rex) just came storming into the med-bay a minute ago. He's currently using choice words in the corner of the med bay. Why? Because his hair has been dyed hot pink from contaminated shampoo. When and where will our attackers strike next? We are still clueless."
0400 HOURS
"Other reports have recently been filed of more attacks. Kano, Hardcase, and Jesse are smothered in shaving cream and toothpaste. Hawk's teeth are green. Everyone is trembling with fear and Hardcase is crying in the corner because what he thought was a cake with lots of frosting turned out to be a balloon piled with shaving cream.
"I've been analyzing the attacks. From my observations, I can tell that balloons and dye are both popular weapons. Additionally–"
"Shut up, Tup."
"Uh, don't mind him. He's just grumpy 'cause he hasn't gotten enough sleep tonight. Anyways, as I was saying–"
"Seriously, Tup, stop making that stupid recording. No one cares."
"But–"
"No buts. Shut up and get some sleep."
"Kix–"
"Stop that stupid recording right now or I'll sedate you."
"Are you making a threat?"
"No. I'm making a promise. Now turn. It. Off."
"Right, okay, one last thing. If we– AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Oh, kriff, I have an angry medic chasing me! Okay, okay, If we don't make it out alive... AAAH! Just sing Hakuna Matata at my funeral! AAAAAAAH! Kriff, kriff, kriff, kriff–"
HOLORECORDING ENDED
-------------------
Word Count: 750
Published: October 2, 2022
Yay! So happy! I do feel kinda bad for Hardcase...
You can find me on AO3 under the same username: TwentyFunnyBunnies.
Requests are open, feel free to message me or make a request if you have any ideas!
Bye, peoples!
YOU ARE READING
Ahsoka Tano One-Shots
Hayran KurguAhsoka Tano: Jedi padawan of Anakin Skywalker, grandpadawan of Obi-Wan Kenobi, commander of the 501st, friend of too many clones to count, and a Togtuta of many exciting adventures. This series follows Ahsoka throughout different times in her life...
