Style // Sirius Black

Chapter XLII

Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone can be the harbinger of hurt if pushed far enough. Others handle pain better and can manage their anger. Other people sometimes let that anger fester, and eventually, everything comes to the surface. This bubbling feeling and overzealousness can lead to a downfall or further spur a person's growth. Everything has to do with circumstances, the environment people live in, and even how they grew up.

Someone who grew up in a nurturing and emotionally stimulating environment is more likely to be able to handle their emotions more healthily. They usually have an easier time expressing themselves, even if they need to find an outlet specific to them. When you grow up in a family or group that welcomes emotions and encourages you to feel various things, it's less likely that those negative emotions will grow and fester as you age.

On the contrary, those raised or who grew up in more stifling and cold environments may find it more challenging to speak or deal with these emotions. It can be seen as a sign of vulnerability that they're used to being exploited or seen as something immature or unbecoming. These environments nurture more closed-off and possibly more reactive people. Not to say this is everyone, as sometimes this can create a more loving and open person.

However, these reactions can be explosive, filled to the brim with volatility and malevolence. Both those raised in kind environments and raised in neglectful ones can have these reactionary events, and it can lead to catastrophic outcomes. Outcomes filled with pain, sorrow, and hurt.

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The moon was gracing the treeline as Lyra sat up with her candle burning beside her. The others were all sound asleep, their breaths shallow and content. Every time the full moon creeps around, Lyra finds herself on edge with the upcoming occurrences. She could see it taking its toll on Remus, but there was nothing she could do. She wanted him to lean on her for support, but she knew the boy better than most. He wouldn't rely on anyone for help willingly.

Lyra and Remus were similar in that sense. Neither wanted to burden others with their shortcomings. It was easier to rely inwardly, only allowing your vulnerabilities to be seen by the person that waited in the mirror. People around them didn't understand or didn't fully grasp what it was that each of the Gryffindor students needed. Both James and Sirius could help to an extent, but at the end of it, both Remus and Lyra were their own monsters. They would wait under their beds before gripping their ankle and tugging them down.

Lyra had tried to focus on the book she had spread open before her, beckoning the blonde into the world it created like a drug. She couldn't find the merit to focus on the words that danced in front of her, especially not as the sound of footsteps clapped against the floors outside of her dorm. Both her twin and lover tried to convince the youngest Potter twin to get to bed early, so she wasn't up worrying, but all three knew that wasn't going to be the case.

Slapping the book shut, Lyra slid from her bed and into the slippers next to the posts and crept towards the door. Tugging it open, she saw James, Peter, and Sirius freeze at the sudden noise. Realizing just who had heard their creepings, the trio relaxed. Lyra shook her head and hurried down the steps, candle lighting her way as she made it to the bottom of the staircase. Sirius broke away from the other two and enveloped Lyra's face in his hands, staring at her as though she were the only thing good left in the world.

"Why're you up?" He whispered, glancing to the side at the grandfather clock that struck midnight, "I told you–"

"When have I ever done as you have told?" Lyra chastised in response, breaking away from Sirius and placing her candle down, "Let me come with you guys–"

"No," James hissed, his voice calm so that their little meeting didn't wake any other students that may still be coherent, "Lyra, we've talked about this; it's not safe."