Style // Sirius Black

Chapter XXIV

You don't always have to put other people ahead of you. Sometimes it's okay to be selfish and set your own feelings and needs above others. Sparing people's feelings is noble, yes, but sometimes it requires a personal sacrifice that will only further your own hurt instead. You're not selfish just because you want to protect yourself.

Having desires has been shamed and disenfranchised by society because it's viewed as selfish. Everything done for yourself is seen as selfish because no one can do anything without someone labelling it. But that's not entirely true. You can have a personal dream or goal without being a selfish person. Having a plan for self-betterment is not selfish, despite what is said.

But who makes these rules? Why do they have such power over the world? No one stops you from putting yourself first other than this societal norm, always sacrificing your own well-being to improve others and the world around you. That's not a healthy way to live. That is all there is to it. No one will come down and strike you because you have decided to help yourself first. Now, this isn't saying to sacrifice others for your own gain. That could be seen as selfish, and quite simply, is immoral.

Having a desire isn't selfish. Hurting others to obtain that desire is.

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"Remus..." Lyra whispered, shaking her head gently as she took a step back from the boy, "Why...Why?"

"I don't know," he responded, voice equally as uncertain, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I think I just sort of lost myself for a second there." A chuckle escaped his lips as the boy ran a hand through his hair, "I'm sorry, Ly."

"No...no, it's okay," she laughed, glancing down at her feet, "I'm just...I'm not in the right mind to have anything with you and–"

"No, it's okay," Remus nodded, "I honestly don't...I don't want that; you're like...you're my best friend. I'm not sure what came over me there.

"Right...Yeah," Lyra replied, "Listen, it didn't happen, okay? I get it; it was a build-up of the moment. It's not like we've never kissed before."

"We have?"

"Fifth year, after we beat Slytherin in Quidditch."

"Yes! You've gotten better."

"Stop talking."

"Right."

Lyra let out a short chuckle before nodding towards the entryway to the Gryffindor dorms, walking towards it as the lycanthrope followed close behind her. Despite her heart racing at a mile a minute after the two had locked lips, Lyra knew that it wasn't going to be a big issue for her. Sometimes your emotions take over and make you do things you don't mean, which was Remus's case. Lyra trusted her best friend; after all, he had believed her about the things she had been through over the last few weeks. She wasn't going to hold this over his head.

Lyra bid goodnight to the boy she spent the day with, a relaxed smile on her lips as she wandered up to her dorm to change into her pyjamas. Laughing echoed from behind the girl's dorm door, and the blonde felt a sense of relief find its home in her mind. If Remus believed her, perhaps the others would too. She didn't want to risk it now; she got lucky with the Lupin boy. Others may be more hesitant about the things she was claiming. One person at a time seemed like the better option for Lyra.

Lyra pushed open the door and was bombarded with gleeful squeals from the girls. The blonde threw her hands up in defence as her friends surrounded her with questions about what she did. Other than the kiss and her admitting the things she'd seen, Lyra told them the contents of her first day away from the dormitory. Exhaustion became a close friend of the Potter girls as she slid from her soaked clothes and into a warm and comfy jumper, joining the others on Marlene's bed once again.