Casual Affair

Danny to your Sandy

I'm walking out of school back to my car after a long day. My mind is still trying to wrap itself around the fact that I think I broke up with Derek. I didn't exactly say we're over, so does that mean we're still together? I have no idea. And without knowing if I'm really single or not I freaking kissed my ex-boyfriend. Not once, but multiple times. That should not have happened. That is the last thing that should have happened. I knew I should've freaking stayed away from Asher. I can't keep getting sucked into the orbit that is him. It's like no matter how hard I try I keep getting pulled back into him. It's like he's quick sand and I'm struggling to get out. I mean, we broke up for a reason. We were unhappy together. We simply didn't belong together. Or at least he didn't want to try to fix our relationship. It was really his fault that we broke up. We could've tried to fix us. He just gave up. I guess it was for the best. We would've kept hurting each other. At that time we were just not meant to be... Even thought I always thought we'd be together forever. We both thought we'd be together forever. We'd both go off to Julliard after high school. He'd keep playing gigs and working until he got famous and I'd stay in New York and work on Broadway. We'd get an apartment together close to Broadway and he'd work at the studio when he's not on tour. Then we'd get married when we were well set. And then we'd eventually have children. It was our plan and then things got hard. But, it was for the best. Us breaking up was for the best. It was for the best. I know it. I know it. I met Derek who is the sweetest, and kindest person I know.

Do I really want to break up with him? Not really. I mean I'd be doing to Derek what Asher did to me. We have to try to fix us. I have to try to fix us. I can't just give up him. I cant do that. That would hurt him too much. I can't hurt him the way I was hurt. Yes, we may be arguing but hell, that's what couples do. We're going to argue sometimes. We're going to fight and scream and hate each other, but we're going to get through it. We have to get through it. I can't just give up on him. Not without trying. Not without fighting for our relationship. No. But, he needs to fight too. It can't just be one sided. We both have to put in effort to make this relationship work. We can't just have one fight and then call it quits. That's not how this works. That's not how a good relationship works. I have to talk to him. Are you going to tell him about the times that you and Asher kissed? You have to. You can't keep it a secret from him anymore. You have to be honest with him for him to be honest with you. This isn't a one-way street sweetie. Ok. So I have to tell him about Asher and me. I have to. Oh, it's going to hurt him so much. So, so freaking much. Nope, you gotta do this. You gotta do this. There's no backing out. Grow a pair and man up.

As I got to my car I saw Derek standing there with flowers and a Victoria Secret's bag. I smiled as I walked up to him. He saw me, and a small smile filled his face.

"Hey." He said slowly.

"Hey." I replied.

"Listen babe. I'm really sorry for the way I've been acting for the past couple months. I was so focused on my responsibilities to the band that I forgot about my responsibilities as a boyfriend. You are so important to me and I don't want to loose you. If that means quitting the band then I will. I've been such an asshole to you lately and you deserve to hate me. You deserve to want to break up with me. You deserve all of that. But baby I promise I will be a better boyfriend to you. I promise I will love you wholeheartedly. I promise. I love you so much babe. So fucking much." He said seriously.

"I have to understand that you do have responsibilities to the band and yes you're not going to always be around me, but I felt neglected. I mean, you were literally never around. I wouldn't see you at all weeks at a time and when I would see you, you were distant thinking about something else. But I don't want you to quit the band. That's the last thing I want you to do. That band is your second love and I'd be a horrible girlfriend, and person, if I took that from you. So I want you in the band, but I'd also like to have a real date with my boyfriend at least once a week. Something to know that you still exist. To know that we're still in a relationship." I said quickly.