Casual Affair

Bumpercars

I got highlights. My natural highlights faded out at the end of freshman year and I never bothered to try to get them back. I got a kind of ombre highlights. They go from a subtle light brown at the top to a caramel towards the bottom. I wanted to change something about myself and highlights seemed like the easiest thing to do. They are so cute and I love them so much and I think it just really adds stuff to my face and personality and other things like that. Clo was sick and Jas was out of town so they couldn't see them in person, but I had sent them pictures when I first got it done.

I dropped by Derek's locker to see if he was actually at school. He wasn't there for Thursday and Friday of last week. He was there.

"Good morning babe." I said walking up to him.

"Oh Good morning sunshine." He said pecking my cheek. He went back to stuffing things in his bag.

"How was your weekend?" I asked leaning against the other lockers.

"Fine." He said nodding.

"How's things going with the band? I know you guys have been busy for a while." I asked watching him look for something in his messy locker. I don't know how he could find anything in there when there where music sheets and trash pouring out of it.

"Oh we're good. Yup." He said finally finding what he was looking for.

"That's good." I said simply.

"Um babe, I really gotta go." He said pecking my forehead.

"Wait, do you notice anything different?" I asked making him really look at me. He barely looked at me before answering.

"You look gorgeous all the time babe, how can I tell?" He said smiling before pecking my lips. "Love you, but I really gots to go." He said before rushing off.

"Love you too." I whispered looking in the direction he walked. I shook my head before heading to my class.

It's Motown Friday in my music performance class. Yes I know it should be Motown Monday but we had to continue a lesson onto Monday from last week Friday so then he just moved it to today. We try to have theme days in here every week. Like Motown Mondays or Musical Fridays or Disney Thursdays. Motown Friday doesn't flow as much but oh well, I'm still glad we get to just do it. This is one of my favorite days because I loved the music from back then. It was beautiful and spunky and fun all rolled up in one. It's one of the best music eras ever. Love. Love. Love. I had already performed.

It's also been a couple weeks since the incident with Asher. I haven't told Derek. I don't know if I should. Like I know I should, because I like cheated on him. He deserves to know you know? I just don't want to hurt him. Isn't that what they all say? That I don't want to hurt you? That's why I didn't tell you? Ugh I'm disgusting. I am completely disgusting. I don't even have anything to say for myself. I don't. I can't say anything about what I've done. Why did I do it? Am I really that weak? Does Asher really hold that much power over me?

During rehearsals we get along fine. I guess it's because we have to. We have to get along in order for everything to work out. He subtly flirts with me, but doesn't make it obvious because he doesn't want anyone else to know. At least he's not making it obvious to everyone that we slept together you know?

Things between us a pretty tense though. I don't know how everyone else can't see it. I give him a kind of "You really need to back the fuck off" aura and he just completely dismisses me. I can't deal with having to be around him everyday after school. It's awful. He's obnoxious and annoying and ugh! He gets under my skin. He's just so aggravating. I know he's doing it on purpose because he knows I'm going to get upset or something and he finds pleasure in that. HE finds pleasure in making me upset.