Casual Affair

You Know It Will Always Just Be Me

Black bodycon dress on. Red lipstick stained my plump lips. Bold winged liner highlighted my eyes. White heels elongated my legs. I was on fucking fire. With Derek on my side I felt great. Except I didn't really. The thoughts of the musical filled my head. All I knew was that I would be spending a lot of time with Asher for the musical. I didn't need to be spending a lot of time with Asher because being around him at any point was a bad idea. I can't control myself around him. It's weird it's almost like my mind completely stops working. Sometimes I just crave that feeling we had when we used to date. I mean, I love being in a relationship with Derek and everything, but it doesn't feel the same as when I was in a relationship with Asher.

That doesn't matter. Asher and I are no longer in a relationship. You are now dating another person. You can't keep thinking about him. This isn't good for any party involved. Nope. So you really just need to stop. You guys broke up for a reason.

"A reason." We keep saying that we broke up for "a reason". It wasn't like he was moving away and we broke up. Or one of us cheated on the other. Or some other kind of super big reason to brake up. We broke up for the simplest, but probably more important reasons, we weren't making each other happy anymore. The last night we were together we made each other real happy, but that was only after we had broken up. After we had missed each other for 2 months. After it had already been too late. IT's too late. It's too late for us. I'm happy now with Asher. I mean Derek. Damnit I meant Derek. I'm happy now with Derek. I'm happy with Derek.

I looked up on stage and realized it's my first time in a really long time performing without Clo or Jas. They are both out of town and couldn't make it tonight but I knew I had to come. It was a good friend of mine who was throwing this party and I knew she'd be disappointed if I didn't show up.

"Hey. I see Maria. Let's go say hi." Derek said tugging me along with him. I smiled as we went to go talk to the hostess. As she saw us her face lit up.

"Lana! Derek! How are you guys?" Maria asked while giving us hugs.

"Great. Great." I said nodding.

"Great party." Derek added looking around.

"Thanks. I'm so glad you guys could make it." She said smiling.

"It's our pleasure." Derek said slipping an arm around my waist. I leaned into him.

"Well I have a party to host so I'll talk to you lovely people later." Maria said before disappearing into the crowd. Derek led me to the drink table and handed me a beer. I took a couple sips before leaning against the counter.

"It's really nice having you around Derek." I said looking up at him.

"Yea I know. I've missed you. Sorry for always being so busy my love." He said before pecking my lips.

"It's ok. I understand, but I mean the most important thing in a relationship is spending time with one another. If you guys are never together then you loose a connection." I said shrugging.

"I don't ever want to loose my connection with you." He said pulling me into him. "And I promise it's me and you tonight." He added as I felt the vibrations from his chest.

"I know. I'm glad." I said resting my head in his chest. "Let's dance." I said pulling him into the other room.

"You know I'm not much of a dancer babe." He said shaking his head.

"Yea, but you promised you'd do anything to make it up to me and part of the process is dancing with me so let's go." I said pulling him in the middle of the floor. It's always so hard to get him to do things sometimes. It's like he never wanted to do anything ever. He wasn't really adventurous, but I am. He's not very outgoing, but I am. It's weird. We danced for a little while before it was my turn to get up on stage.