His Good Girl -Jason McCann

c h a p t e r 30

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Shrugging off my backpack, I placed it next to me on the wooden bench. I zipped open my backpack and pulled out my sketchbook. Placing it on my lap, I paged through to my latest drawing that needed to be finished. I bit my lip, hiding my smile as I stared down at my sketch of Jason. I just needed to color it in for it to be finished. I grabbed my pencil case and began coloring it in.

I heard the front doors of the school slam shut and my head snapped up in that direction. Jason stormed out of the school, his face red and his jaw clenched. He kicked over some of the front pot plants that were at the end of the steps, growling as he did so. I stared at him quietly with furrowed eyebrows, not knowing what to do at that moment. He turned around and his dark, angry eyes landed on me, his gaze deadly cold. I gulped, feeling my stomach churn at the way he was looking at me. He looked away from me and began making his way into the parking lot. I frowned, closing my book and shoving it into my backpack before running after him.

"Jason!"

He didn't stop, he just kept walking, pretending he didn't hear me. I tried yelling again.

"JASON!"

He ignored me again continuing to walk towards his car. I stopped in my tracks, feeling my eyes well up with tears. "Fine, then!" I yelled, turning around and walking back towards the school. What was that about?

I laid on my bed, my door locked while music played loud through my earphones in my ears. "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran was the song I was currently listening to. My heart felt empty at the moment, thanks to earlier today when my boyfriend blew up and ignored me as I tried to help.

I turned over to my side and nearly pooped my pants when I saw Jason sitting on the recliner chair in the corner of my bedroom. I sat up quickly and pulled out my earphones. He sat on the chair, his elbows resting on his knees while his hands were clasped together in front of him. His eyes were bloodshot as he stared at me while I scooted to the edge of the bed. I looked over at him, almost too afraid to speak but somehow I mustered up enough courage to croak out, "W-what happened today?"

His jaw clenched and he faced forward, licking his lips. "Are you ashamed of me?"

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, "What?"

He looked down at his hands that were still clasped together in front of him.

"Are. You. Ashamed. Of. Me?" He repeated slower but losing none of that icy cold tone.

I frowned, "No, Jason, how can you even ask me that?"

He scoffed, "Hmm... I don't know, maybe the fucking fact that you lied to your dad and told him I was just a friend. What the fuck is that then?"

I sighed, running my hands through my hair. "How do you know about that, Jason?"

He growled, standing up. "That's not the fucking point, Iris! You lied about us, how could you do that? Doesn't this mean anything to you? Is that it?"

I stood up, glancing nervously towards my bedroom door "Jason, I understand that you're upset but can you please keep your voice down? I don't want my parents to know that you're up here."

After those words left my mouth, I realized it would just make matters worse.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, Iris.

He looked at me, hurt visible in his angry, dark brown eyes "So you are ashamed of us-ashamed of me."

I sighed, shutting my eyes for a moment to hold back my tears. "No, Jason, that's not true. I-"

"You know, I am so proud-" he stepped closer to me, running his hand over my cheek. "I'm so damn proud to call you mine, baby girl. I-i'd ever deny that you're my girl, to anyone."

He gave me a small sad smile, stepping away from me. "But I guess I can understand why you wouldn't tell the truth to your father, I mean look at me, I'm just a piece of shit, I'm not good enough for you and he'll know that -you know that." He scoffed, shaking his head "He'll never approve."

I shook my head fast, grabbing onto his jacket as I stepped closer to him, tears pouring out of my eyes. "No, Jason, don't you ever say that. You are worth way more than you give yourself credit. Jason, I love you, i-"

"Save it, Iris. If you loved me, you wouldn't lie." He shook his head, stepping back and opening up my balcony doors.

"Stop." I croaked out, grabbing onto his arm. "Please don't go, I want to talk to you, I want you to stay. I haven't been able to see you for three days and its been torture, just please let me explain - I need you to stay with me, Jason. Please?" I looked at him with my teary eyes and he let out a shaky breath, seeming as if he was struggling with himself. My heart sank when he shook his head and pulled his arm out of my grip.

"No, not right now, Iris. I need some time alone." He walked over to the railing of the balcony, climbing over. He looked back at me as I stood still, watching him leave while tears slid down my cheeks. He gulped, looking away from me before climbing down the wall. I groaned, slamming my balcony doors shut.

I sprawled myself out over my bed, burying my head in my pillow as I cried, my heart aching along with a twisting feeling in my gut, my throat was so dry I bet I'd never be able to swallow anything ever again. Why would he think I'm ashamed of us? Yes, I lied but for good reason. If my father knew the truth, he'd forbid me from seeing Jason and I don't want that. I love Jason, why can't he just understand that I did this for us? I lied to my father -which I've never done, EVER - to protect us, to protect our relationship. Why can't he see that?

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