Zara's Beginings

Truth and coming out

I groaned as I headed back to join everyone, Yasmine was right I couldn't hurt Kayala by not telling anyone I was just scared that everyone would hate me that I would just be another burden another reason for them to hate me "Mama, Mike Can I talk to you about something" I asked awkwardly as I went to sit down on the piano stool, It was always comforting me the piano so I needed to be near i

"What's wrong?" Mama asked "It's not the school is it, you're nearly finished now please say it's not too bad," She asked worried, I was always glad that she was worried about me I hoped I would be as good a parent as she was to me but it was scary.

"Schools okay" I shrugged it was an honest answer "a few weeks ago I lied about going out and going to a friend's party, I was drinking and I made a bad mistake, I know you've raised me to be careful but I slept with a friend and she's pregnant" I rambled I didn't know how to say it I looked away not wanting to see their disappointment in me.

"Is it Kayla you've been spending a lot of time with her?" Papa asked I knew he sounded angry.

"Yes"

"Is she your girlfriend?" He asked "No Penniman will have a bastard child," He said crossing his arms I knew he didn't mean to be but he scared me I didn't want to be forced to marry her even if I knew it might be right

"She's not but we both want to keep it, but I can't marry her," I said simply

"Micheal Holbrook Penniman JR You don't just get a girl pregnant and not raise it together in a loving home." I heard Mama says, She never called me by my full name she hated it as much as I did so I knew she was angry.

"I've taken extra shifts we were going to find a place to stay together But I can't." I say honestly trying to think of a lie "She said no I proposed and she said she didn't want to marry me because she was pregnant but wanted to see how things went" I lied looking at Yasmine hoping she would cover for me that she could keep my secret.

"You knew about this" Mama asked her/

"He only told me today because He was scared of telling you," She says "He wasn't sure how you'd take it"

"Well obviously we think your stupid but your our son and this will be our grandchild so w We hope that if you want to raise this baby out of wedlock you be the best father you can because that's how we raised you," Mama said I nodded I hoped I would be a good father that I would understand and be there for them

"I want to be" I promised they didn't seem completely angry but maybe we would be okay

"And you invite her over for dinner she's going to be part of the family whether you marry her or not" She added still frowning.

A week went by and I and gone with Kayla to tell her parents, it didn't go awfully they were disappointed but glad that we were trying to work together for it. I had told her about the lie which she wasn't happy about but agreed to go with it for now "You'll have to tell them the truth eventually" She told me I knew that but it wasn't easy, I didn't even understand why I liked guys I had heard so often how the wrong it was, How fags shouldn't exist an I didn't want my parents to hate me, I didn't want them to think of me like that, what if they never accepted me, I needed to lie to be safe. To be able to raise this baby together, She didn't understand how much I hated myself sometimes but I wanted to be here no matter how scary it was, I just couldn't face everything now.

Kayla soon arrived at the house I smiled giving her a hug "How are you feeling," I asked her with a warm smile making sure she was okay, I knew her morning sickness had been bad.

"Not too bad, having been as bad today"

I soon heard my mother walking over with a soft smile "Mika was awful for morning sickness but I guess he keeps making things difficult" She said seriously "I can get you something to help" She added.

"That would be lovely Mrs. Penniman Thank you," Kayla said following her

"Joannie Is fine you are part of the family now"

Dinner went okay everyone kept prying as to why she didn't want to marry me and I was starting to feel bad, I didn't want her to stress and I could see she was getting agitated.

"Can't you just leave her alone, She doesn't have to marry me just because she's pregnant"

"Were only asking" I heard my father say "if you didn't want to marry her you shouldn't have had sex, we raised you right and you know that its a sin" he said sternly

"Well I guess I'm going to hell," I said simply crossing my arms agitated, I knew they didn't mean it I was just scared

"God will forgive you"

"Your god hates me for just existing, sure I sinned having sex with Kayla, for not having a baby in wedlock but you know what My existence is a sin according to you according to 'god'"

"Mika doesn't talk about yourself like that" Paloma said frowning, I smiled slightly, I hoped she would still love him, she had always been the closest especially since she saved me from that teacher

"What are you talking about," Joannie asked sighing concerned.

"I liked about asking her to marry me because I never wanted to because I could never be with her like that, not again because having sex with Kayla, even if this child will be amazing was a stupid mistake was something I hated, no offense, because I'm Gay, I like boys, " I said I looked over at Kayla giving her a warm smile, I shouldn't have ever lied and made her stress and I knew this was right, even if it meant I lost everything "So if you going to kick me out, please tell me so I can leave" I added looking down I didn't want to see my families faces.

Paloma got up and hugged me which surprised me.

"Sit down Mika, Your my son and you belong in this house, thank you for telling us the truth" I heard mama say I looked at her she was smiling

"I will try my best for you, I know I don't have the best views but as long as you're happy thats what's important" I heard Dad say, I had heard him say some things which scared me but hoped he was going to be more understanding

"Thank you so much," I said in a small voice "I've already caused enough issues, I was scared this would be too much, but I want to co-parent and I want to be a good father which is why I'm saving up to move out"

Kayla agreed "My parents actually have saved for when I turn 18 in September and said they would give it to me early to help"

"Good," Papa said nodding, I could tell he wasn't exactly happy but this was a start.