The Game

Chapter 12

School was tough. It was hard to avoid people who were always chasing you. I didn't want to be around Vic or any of the guys for the moment, I had started to hang out a little with Lynn and her girlfriend Taylor. They were really nice girls despite the fact that they couldn't stop reminding me how different I was from the past years, which I didn't give a damn about anymore. Classes were okay, I was surprised that I was actually doing pretty good in every subject, thanks to Vic. Fuck ! Not him again ! It was impossible to take him out of my mind even though I tried hard.

I was sitting in the study room at school for an hour before leaving. I wanted to finish my homework here so I could play of my double bass again for the first time in a while. I was concentrating on my literature dissertation when I saw Jaime come in the room and sit behind me. I acted like I hadn't seen him and kept working. He wasn't doing anything, just checking the time and looking around. I guess he wasn't used to study. Someone should have let him know he was supposed to take out work. But no one did so he apparently felt the need to bother me by tapping my shoulder.

"Emily !" He whispered. I sighed.

"What do you want ?" I turn around to him, annoyed.

"Nothing, just chatting. What's up ?"

"Look Jaime, I am busy working here okay ?" I went back to my work.

"Why are you avoiding us ? It's not us who fucked you the other night !"

What he was saying was making me extremely pissed. He wouldn't leave me alone so I took my stuff back in my back, ignoring him.

"And even, why are you avoiding Vic ? I mean you just fucked, right ? It's no big deal ! Plus I heard you really liked, right ?" He smirked. "You should chi-" I cut him off.

"Shut up ! Just shut up ! All that is none of your business, is it !"

"I mean you still did it in my room !" He mocked.

I didn't say anything. This wasn't worth a fight. I grabbed my bag and left just when the bell rang. I walked home with my phone in my hand, hitting the red button repetively everytime Vic was trying to call. Then I received an amount of messages from him, he had given up on the calls, texting different ways to ask the same questions : "what is wrong with you ?"

Of course I didn't answer, I didn't even bother reading them. I just got home.There, things had changed too. There was no sushis and TV night anymore, Kelly was cooking and we ate around the table, asking each other about our day before having awkward silences. There was no long talking anymore either, the atmosphere was quiet and awkward, entirely focused on the baby. I could spend a lot more time on my instruments and I had written a few songs. I also used to answer Lynn's calls every night so she could tell me about her life and her relationship struggles between her and Taylor. I never told her about Vic, I kept that for myself at night in my dreams, he was haunting them.

I wanted to delete the other night and at the same time, I wanted it to last forever. The thing was, none of these two possibilities were available. I wasn't talking to the guys at all, except for Tony who kept coming to prepare the music project that would end next week, on the stage of the school hall. When he was here, we didn't do anything but play all the songs and discussing of the arangement and stuff. That was all.

I was terribly confused about Vic, so confused that I couldn't think of anything else in the day. I was smoking even more than before and I wanted answers...Or maybe I didn't. That is what was wrong with me, I didn't know anything. I knew I was loosing him by not talking to him, but I also knew that I was possibly loosing him in an even more painful way by talking to him. In any ways, he was breaking my heart by just being and it was the worst feeling. At lunch, I was obviously no longer sitting with them, I used to be around Lynn and Taylor but I wasn't really paying attention to what they were saying. Let's just say that lesbian conversations weren't my thing. Especially when they spent the whole lunch time making out on the bench which wasn't really interesting and even sometimes awkward. So I was just sitting there, eating my plate, my eyes stuck on Vic who looked pretty sad lately. I would have asked him what was wrong but I couldn't. I just couldn't talk to him until I was totally sure of what I wanted so I wouldn't say confusing shit in front of him.