Without You

2.

Alex stared at his best friend who was curled up on the sofa, a permanent frown of discomfort on her face. He hated that nothing he couldn't do anything for, no one could.

"How is she?" Jo whispered as she moved next to Alex, her hand going to his back.

"Not good, I just keep waiting for her to break, I just wish I could take all this pain away from her." Alex said sadly as he turned to Jo with tears forming in his eyes.

"I know, I know." She smiled sadly before reaching her hand up to wipe the tears off of his face. "You're already doing as much as you can, you being there for her is exactly what she needs right now." She leaned up and gently pressed his lips to his for what felt like the first time in days.

"I love you Jo, so much." He admitted as he moved to wrap his arms around her tight, pulling into his chest and squeezed her as tight as he could.

"I love you too." Jo responded, closing her eyes as she breathed him in.

Seeing Meredith lose Derek, it made Alex realise that he has to appreciate every single minute he gets with Jo because it could all be gone in the blink of an eye.

"I've got to leave to work but if you need me then just text me, also think about what I said earlier. Maybe it's time you ring Cristina and tell her you need her help." Jo smiled as she cupped his cheek in her hand.

"Hmm." Alex sighed and nodded before kissing Jo once more but not before checking that Meredith was still sleeping, not wanting to rub anymore salt in her wounds.

Once Jo had left, Alex started preparing Meredith breakfast, even though he knew she wasn't going to eat it. She had barely touched any food since the day Derek had died but he would never stop trying.

"Alex." He turned quickly when he heard Meredith's voice, finding her now standing up with Derek's blanket wrapped tightly around her.

"Hey, you alright?" He frowned, stopping what he was doing before going to stand next to her.

"Hmm." She groaned before reaching to rub her head, the headache becoming unbearable at this point. "Just don't feel good..."

"Maybe you should go and get yourself checked out, I mean you've been throwing up everyday and the headache..." Alex started off become Meredith cut him off.

"I'm fine." She replied shortly, failing to notice as Alex shook his head.

"Mer..."

"Alex, just stop. Please." She pleaded with him. "I'm not sleeping, I don't know how to sleep without him..."

Alex opened his mouth to speak but the sound of someone knocking at the door interrupted them. Sighing to himself, he turned and headed for the door, pulling open to find Carolyn Shepherd standing there.

"Mrs Shepherd, hey." Alex leaned forward, giving her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before stepping aside to let her in.

"Thanks Alex." She smiled at him before turning to Meredith. "Meredith."

"Hey mom." Meredith said, attempting her best smile but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Alex, can you give us a minute?" Carolyn asked, watching as Alex nodded his head before grabbing his coat and headed outside, leaving them alone.

Carolyn moved over to the couch and tapped the spot next to her, watching as Meredith's fragile body slumped down next to her.

"Alex told me you haven't been eating." Carolyn stated, watching as Meredith looked down at the floor, picking at the blanket. "You need to eat."

"I can't." Meredith admitted, her eye filling with tears as she finally looked to Carolyn. "Every time I eat, I'm sick..."

"Meredith..." Carolyn sighed, having a strong feeling at what was happening.

"Don't, I just can't do this right now." Meredith shook her head. "This isn't how it was meant to go, he was meant to be here for this..." she sobbed before Carolyn reached over and pulled her into her arms.

"You have to find out, so you can be sure." Carolyn said as she ran her hands up and down Meredith's back.

"No, I'm not doing this, I can't." Without explanation, Meredith pulled out of Carolyn's arms and ran into the bathroom, locking the door behind her as she broke down.

Carolyn had loved Meredith like one of her own since the second Derek had brought them home when they were just 18 years old. So seeing Meredith so broken, shattered her heart more than she could ever imagine. Her son was gone, he was really gone.

She had been strong for everyone but hearing Meredith sob uncontrollably caused Carolyn to truly break down. No parent should have to go through the pain of burying any of their children.

Life wasn't fair. It took her husband first and now her son.