Down on the Farm (mxm)

Fourteen

Wyatt

My fingers shook while holding the phone in my hand, so many emotions running through my mind. With a deep breath I punched in the number and held the phone up to my ear, nervously biting my bottom lip. "Hello?"

Theo's voice made my body freeze and tense up; I still wasn't used to this. I was talking to my father... my actual father. Someone who didn't even know I existed until a little bit ago, someone who actually wanted to be in my life. Would it be too weird to get to know a parent after all these years? What would happen if he found out more about me and actually didn't like how I turned out?

"Hello?"

But then again, I'd never know until I found out. "Theo, it's Wyatt."

"Wyatt," he happily said. "It's so good to hear from you. How are you?"

"I was actually wondering if you would be able to meet up sometime?"

"Of course," he immediately said. For some reason that made me feel a lot better, knowing that someone wanted to see me and hopefully get to know me. "I hope this isn't too forward but, how about today? You can come out to my house."

I took a shaky breath before running my free hand through my hair. "I... I'd really like that."

He then gave me his address before saying, "I'm so happy you reached out Wyatt, I'm so excited to see you."

I had to swallow the large lump in my throat; it was still wild that I was actually talking to my dad. It'd be one thing if he knew about me but still didn't give a shit, but he didn't know I was even born. This had all been really hard on me but I can't even imagine what he's been going through. "I'm excited as well."

With that we hung up, my hands nervously starting to shake. As I wandered upstairs to change I tried to calm down my breathing. The last thing I wanted to do was look like an idiot in front of him. After walking into my room I changed, then changed again, and then tried to tame my hair. It didn't work because my hair was just too curly and too wild, making me sigh in frustration and angrily whip my fingers out of my hair. My clumsy fingers knocked over the picture frame on the dresser, the one of my mom and I.

As I bent down to pick it up I noticed the back had popped off a little. That also made me sigh in frustration because I needed to calm the fuck down, before I broke everything valuable to me. But as I lifted the picture frame up, something other than the back was poking my finger. My eyebrows scrunched together as I flipped it over to see a piece of paper. It felt like my world stopped when I realized it was a note, written by my mom.

My lovely Wyatt,

I am so incredibly proud of the young man you've turned into, there are no words to describe just how much I love you. Seeing you turn into such a fine young man makes me realize you're such a better person than I am, and you're not even a teenager yet. You've been asking about your father for quite some time now. I need to confess that I do know who he is, he just doesn't know about you. Please don't hate me for this, even though you have every right to. His name is Theo and he works out in Iowa, he's one of the sweetest people I've ever met. We got together over the summer and when I left Iowa, I also left with you. I didn't tell him and I never told you. Seeing your face and how it's identical to his, I know I did the wrong thing. All my life I've never thought I was worthy of anyone like him, we were young when we got together. I knew he would follow me to New York because I didn't want to live in the country, I'll always be a city girl. But he was so happy out in the country, I knew he would hate moving. And he obviously deserved someone a whole lot better than me, someone who didn't run away with his child. I never should have left without telling him and I never should have kept him from you. I'm writing this out because I'm so terrified to actually say these words out loud to you, I just know you're going to hate me. If it makes you feel any better I hate myself. I'm going to give you this tomorrow and hopefully fly out to Iowa soon. I want you two to meet; I know he's going to love you. You're so easy to love Wyatt. And you have your entire life ahead of you to do great things. Maybe even move to Iowa to be with your dad, and if you'll have me, I'll move out there too. There are no words to say how sorry I am. But I will always love you more than anything on this planet, I hope you remember that.