Beautiful Stillness ✔️

Chapter 14: Hurt

Chapter 14: Hurt

After that incident, the Matron never asked Ulysses to serve tea for the masters again. The Lady from the Estella house stayed for about a week, and Ulysses had to suffer through heartbreak every time he saw his young master happily talking with the woman.

What has been happening to him lately is confusing. He needs answers. He was wrong to feel something toward his young master; he knew it was temporary, and yet he still chose to continue his feelings for him. Lord Damond has totally no idea, so he cannot be blamed, but does Ulysses deserve this pain? No, this is too much. He just loved him. Why is he receiving punishment instead? Is this feeling wrong? Oh, is this why he is hurting? Because this kind of love is wrong and forbidden?

Ulysses held his clenching chest. 'Hurts...'

A few more days passed and the mansion fell silent because the young master left. Ulysses had no idea where he went; he probably stayed at the Estella house. No one visited either, so the mansion was unbearably quiet because Ulysses's sunshine was away. Throughout the days and nights Lord Damond was not around, Ulysses continued his job. The servants receive a good salary at the very end of the month, so he really had to put up with it to be deserving.

The current events are really ruining Ulysses little by little. He misses his young master so badly, but Damond is probably having a good time with the Lady Estella right now. Oh no, he is actually getting married. He will soon build a family, and not long after, his kids will be running down the halls every day while Ulysses watches Lord Damond happily play with his loving family.

'Hurts...' That scenario has been playing on his mind and it still hurts whenever he thinks of it.

But what about the events they spent together? He even claimed him as his, so why is this suddenly happening? Ulysses needs an explanation or else he will go insane. He understands he is not deserving of anything Lord Damond has because he is a literal no one. However, maybe, despite his status, he deserves a little explanation of Lord Damond's actions toward him, right? No... no... then again, he realized that what happened between them was just temporary pleasure and nothing more.

Lord Damond claimed him as his because of the momentum of heat. At that time, Lady Estella was still out of the picture, so Lord Damond must have been bored and he was the only toy he could play with. And now that the love of his life is finally around, the young master has no time to play with servants.

'Hurts...' Ulysses sighed as he gripped his clenching chest. 'Painful... Too much.'

Ulysses went back to his usual routine. Though lacking energy, he still continued to work. The outside of the mansion was clean, so he and the other servants were not that tired for the day. Matron Aurora is unbelievably gloomy; maybe she is just like that because there were newcomers. She acts rude to measure how far the newcomer's patience and obedience will go. That also happened to Ulysses during his first day, so he truly understands the Matron's mood right now. A servant also made a mistake, so the Matron fumed in anger. He also cannot blame her because, as the assigned overseer, she needs to make sure the staff is in order.

Oh gosh, what is happening? Everything is confusing right now. This all happened when the young master became busy. He barely visits the mansion, as if he is no longer living there. Is this how it is when you are preparing to create a family?

The days passed again until the last week of the month came and Lord Damond still had not come back. Maybe, like any other aristocrat, he was really busy taking care of work. Or maybe it was about his upcoming engagement or marriage settlement. Nevertheless, Ulysses thinks he is prioritizing work right now above anything else. He knew Lord Damond; he would drain himself with work rather than do other things.

They are busy people, and that is one of the things he admires about them. They are responsible at such a young age. Ulysses found out that Lord Damond started managing the Theodore estate and business when his father passed away, and he was still young at that time. Ulysses also found out that the young master will officially inherit everything at the right age because he is the only one in line. And it will be soon.

Lord Damond is 24 years old and turning 25 next month. How can Ulysses not be impressed? At such a young age, he has achieved a lot. The Lady from the Estella house is very lucky to be married to his young master; he has almost everything. He is still friendly and a good person. Despite everything he has done to him, Ulysses could still say that Lord Damond is a good person. It is just that he is not good for Ulysses's heart. Because until now, Ulysses still has no idea why he always gets nervous whenever he is around. He could not explain why the young master's mere presence makes him tremble.

One morning, Ulysses stumbled upon a large picture frame that contained the family tree of the Theodore family. Everyone was good-looking, and yet he stared at his young master's portrait for a long time. Lord Damond is truly captivating, alluring, and undeniably gorgeous. During his stay at the mansion since he was a kid, he gradually got to know the Theodores by listening to the gossip of the servants, and he can say that they were very kind people. Ulysses has nothing to blame on Lord Damond, especially regarding his suffering from unrequited feelings, and he hopes the time finally comes when he can move on. Because if his feelings do not stop, then he will die from suffocation and pain.

"So handsome, right?" It was the voice of Alfred behind him, another servant. "The Theodores are all good-looking and expensive. Especially our young master. I only saw Madam Theodore once, but I was immediately impressed," he laughed. "Because they are wonderful, it is not new."

Ulysses turned to Alfred and looked at him with a mocking look. "You liked Madam Theodore?" he whispered. "Hey, wake up! That is dangerous!"

Alfred the idiot quickly rebutted with a sly smile on his face. "Oh, I remember! I once saw Lord Damond approaching the wine room. All I know is you were there. What happened?" he asked in a teasing voice.

Ulysses slapped his arm. [Matron Aurora will hear us. What if we get fired? It is forbidden to fantasize about the Theodores, is it not?]

Alfred laughed. "Of course, it is forbidden because they are our masters. We were born to serve them and nothing more. We can never reach them. No matter how much we try to fly high, we will never be able to stand on their level. They are Elites, and we are nothing more but saved paupers."

That hurts; that truly hurts. That was reality. Ulysses was just slapped by reality. Then again, he remembered how different his situation was compared to Alfred's. Even if it was only a bluff, the admiration of Alfred toward Madam Theodore was light compared to the love he carries for the young master. It is forbidden and not acceptable. Society abhors it; everyone would hate it.

'Hurts...' How many times did Ulysses get hurt by overthinking? Overthinking could kill a person.

"So, since I landed in this mansion, I have not had a girlfriend," Alfred joked, trying to lift the tense atmosphere.

[Wait for that lady of yours...] Ulysses chuckled.

Alfred slapped his arm. "Idiot, come on. I do not want to be fired for dreaming of the Theodores."

Ulysses just shrugged. [Me neither.]