When I Don't Remember You (Percico)

Chapter Twenty One: All That Was Lost

Nico di Angelo

I was eating dinner at Camp when Chiron had come over and summoned a few of us to the Big House with Rachel, who was walking around with the centaur.

She was anxious, and if it was about whatever Chiron was summoning us for right now, that made me nervous.

Because there's a group of us, but it's not large. Grover, myself, Thalia and Annabeth. They both came in just a week early for the solstice meeting since Annabeth was on break anyways. Percy's was supposed to come tomorrow, too, because he has stuff to do tonight and then tomorrow we were going to go on a date and then come back here to see everyone.

Walking into the Big House, Sally Jackson was sitting outside Chiron's office, and my stomach dropped.

My first assumption was that he was in the hospital. That he hurt himself because seasonal depression started to sink in a couple weeks ago and while he hasn't self harmed recently...

My mind just kind of jumped to what it can imagine to be the worst thing.

"Sally?" Grover also knew this was bad, though. We all did. "What are you doing at camp? In December at that?"

"Hi," Sally said as she stood up. "I shouldn't be here long, sorry if this ends up being over nothing, but have you guys seen or heard from Percy today? I know he's supposed to be coming here tomorrow, but I could've messed the days up."

"Last I heard he was still coming tomorrow because he had therapy today and some homework to finish," Annabeth said, which...

Where is my boyfriend?

"I haven't talked to him since I was over last week and he said the plan was tomorrow," Grover agreed, and I could feel a weight sinking into my stomach that was going to make me throw up my dinner later. "Our mental link has basically been down since comunications went down, so I haven't heard from him. Sorry."

"I haven't... I haven't seen him since we were all at camp last for the emergency meeting when Olympus was shut down," the daughter of Zeus told my boyfriend's mom. "Have you called his therapist to see if he made his appointment?"

Sally nodded his head.

"I called, but the line was busy," Sally explained. "I'm waiting on a call back, but his board and stuff was still at the house and so was my car and it's the middle of December, so I don't know where he'd go."

"Have you heard anything?" Annabeth nudged me. "You guys hang out, right?"

I shook my head, feeling myself go into autopilot.

"We hang out, yeah, but I haven't..." And I felt like I was going to be sick but I throw up right now I'm going to have to explain why this is making me so anxious to a room or people where half of them don't know that my boyfriend might be gone without any warning and they don't know the boyfriend part of it. "heard anything. I haven't seen him or heard from him today."

"Well, hey, he can't be dead," but despite Annabeth's best efforts of keeping us level headed, that basically confirms that he's missing. "Grovers alive, which means that Percy has to be alive."

And then Grover did the worst thing he could and shook his head.

"Our link is weak enough with communications being down that I wouldn't know for sure," Grover corrected Annabeth. "I don't think he's dead, I don't, but..."

"I'll go check," I couldn't live with not knowing for sure, though, because if Percy's dead I'm going to derail faster than I am already. "i think my dad is still in the Underworld, so I'll go... Ask."

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked, knowing why I would offer. "I won't stop you, but like... Do you want somebody to go with you?"

I shook my head.

"It's the Underworld, it's dangerous for the rest of you to go, even with me," I insisited. "I'll go talk to my dad and I'll let you all know what I find out."

"Thank you," Sally said, but I didn't want thanks for this. I didn't want to feel like a better person for doing what is, for me, the bare minimum of what I can do.

I'm going to go crazy until I know if he's alive and if he is, where he is.

And I already know that I'm not the only one.

I can sense Annabeth behind me already stewing in anxiety.

I just nodded my head to Sally's thanks and Chiron dismissed the other three and wished Sally and Rachel well, saying he wanted to talk to me before I leave for the Underworld.

Which, knowing what he knows, made me wish that Mr. D was here for the conversation Chiron wanted to have.

He's just better at those sorts of conversations because he's at least a little less numb to losing people. He still understands that it hurts, especially after his kid just died.

Were just kids to Chiron. He cares, but there's not a real connection.

"Are you feeling alright, Nico?" Chiron asked. "I know you and Percy have become... Closer over the last couple months."

"I will be when I know for sure that he's not dead."

"And after you deliver the news to Sally and the others?" He went on. "will you stay?"

"I don't know."

"Do you think you will?"

"Probably not."

"Okay. Well, I shouldn't keep you any longer. Go speak with your father."

And that was it. No comfort, no suggestion that maybe I shouldn't fall into my self destructive tendencies because somebody else is gone and I don't know how to handle that.

So I did that. I left and I'm shocked I didn't throw up or faint upon arriving in the underworld, in my dad's palace, but I didn't so that was a pro.

"Wh— Nico?" My father questioned. "What are you doing here at such an hour on such a day as a Monday night?"

I was going to lose my mind if he didn't have a proper answer for me.

"Where is he?"

"Where is..."

And I could tell that he was going to ask who I was referring to, but he joked about it the last time we were here. Right before the war.

Hades knew who.

"Where exactly? I don't know, he isn't in my realm, and Charon hasn't seen him, either," my father calmed one anxiety, but that just made the rest of it a whole lot worse and it was starting to swell and clog my chest up and push against my organs like a balloon getting ready to pop. "Percy is alive. Somebody knows where he is, but I don't know who that is, I'm sorry. His fate isn't for quite a while, you know that. You made sure of that."

"You don't know who it is?" I asked in response, feeling my hands start to tremble and shake as the anxiety set it in that he's alive no, but if we don't know where he is, he might not be for very long because if be doesn't have the will or motivation to fight back, I don't think he will. Not right now. "You're not just being told to lie to me about it?"

"It was a message from Hermes and Hermes didn't know, either," my dad tried to prove his innocence to me as the balloon pushed against my chest and up into my throat and I couldn't breath and I was trying but I couldn't and he's gone and I don't know where he is and it's worse than I thought and if he gets attacked he... He... He... "I'm sorry, son. Are... You okay?"

My legs collapsing underneath me as I lost control of my emotions was his answer.

My boyfriend is missing.

Percy Jackson is missing.

•••

so you know how this story is called When I Don't Remember You?

yeah :)