When I Don't Remember You (Percico)

Chapter Forty Four: Talk About Happened

Percy Jackson

Who told Nico that Gabe was electrocuted?

Was...

Was that the story Mom started telling people?

It's not like it's a total lie, he was electrocuted once at the store he worked at and it nearly stopped his heart, but he survived. That happened when I was little.

That night, Nico and I were laying in bed and it was bothering me, but I was also afraid of bringing it up because telling him the Medusa story means I might have to tell him about what Gabe did and I'm very anxious about it.

I haven't told anyone about what Gabe did. Mom never knew and we never speak of him, so I don't bring it up. No adult would ever take my word as a kid, either, so...

Yeah. By the time I got to Yancy, I'd given up on anyone believing me, much less doing anything about it. So it's just... Something that I keep hidden away. In a little box in my brain.

"Hey," Nico said as he gave me a kiss on the top of my head, which made me smile momentarily. "What's going on up there? Did the socialization at dinner make you anxious?"

"Hm?" I responded before processing the question. "oh, uh, not really? I didn't talk much, so..."

I took a breath.

"When did Mom tell you about Gabe?"

"Just in passing one day when I had been looking at old photos around the apartment," my boyfriend explained. "You must've been showing, or maybe you hadn't woken up yet, but I asked Mom about who he was since he was in a few photos and she said that he was her ex husband and that he died years ago, electrocuted. That was... Was it at your 15th birthday? I think it was your 15th birthday, so you must've been showering. Why?"

That makes a lot more sense, though.

"So Paul was there," I voiced out loud and he slowly nodded his head. "okay, cool, that makes sense. Gabe did get electrocuted once when I was a kid and he was rushed to the hospital, but he lived. I didn't know that's what she told mortals, though, and subsequently you, because we don't talk about him. He was Medusa'd after my first quest."

"He... Why? Was Medusa out for revenge or was it just...?"

"No, Mom used the head for it." I insisted. "Because I'm kind of stupid but also kind of funny, after we killed Medusa on my first quest, I mailed the head with warm regards to Olympus and then my dad sent it to the apartment to make a decision with and I decided to leave it with my mom, and she knew what was inside, so... Yeah. I told her what was in the box and then had to go back to camp. Her letter got to me a few weeks later that she had sold a new statue and gotten rid of her sculpting supplies."

"She..."

Nico wrapped his head around that for a minute, laying his head on my shoulder.

"Did she... Was he that bad? Or... Was he that bad?"

Hesitant, knowing it's a big conversation, I nodded my head.

"He was... He was abusive," I said, out loud, for the first time since I found out who my dad was, and I felt Nico's breath hitch. "um, I didn't know he did anything to my mom until after that quest when I stopped home and he raised his hand and she flinched and it just made things really obvious and then I saw the package on my bed and told her I could get rid of him and she said no, she would take care of it, and it made me worry a lot when I had to leave, but she did it and then we moved to where we are now. He was a piece of shit."

It was still for a moment until Nico asked the inevitable question.

"Did... He ever hurt you?"

Looking down, I nodded my head.

"I thought it was normal growing up until I was in like first or second grade," I told Nico as he propped himself up on his elbow to look at me better, seeming so much more concerned than he was two minutes ago. "um, I didn't really have friends to know that it wasn't normal, and I didn't go to their houses, so... He always threatened that if I told anybody he'd punch my lights out or whatever, but even if I tried telling people, they never believed me, and the only person that ever really did was another kid who couldn't so anything, so... I stopped telling people a while before I even met Grover."

I shrugged.

"But yeah, he sucked," I continued, trying not to recall too many memories for my own sake. "He was homophobic, but despite that he used me as his like, sex doll or whatever if Mom worked late a lot. Slapped me around, cut me a couple times, used a belt most of the time, though. Stole all of my money, used my bedroom as his den when I'd be gone at like, boarding schools. Very angry, he was a drunk, but... Yeah."

Pausing, I figured it was worth mentioning since the reason was out there now.

"So if or whenever we like, have sex," I mentioned as it's something we haven't talked much since we weren't quite to that point before I went missing and now we're on a boat where I'm paranoid others can hear us. "If I start randomly having a panic attack, please stop. I don't think I will, but... My brain is really bad at doing what it's supposed to, so you never know."

"Sweets, I would never continue anything if I saw it was making you anxious or panic," my boyfriend reminded me as he gave me another kiss, this one on the forehead as he laid back down. It was a good reminder, though. "but thank you for warning me. Do you want to talk about it any more or do you just want to like, leave it be for now?"

"Can we just... Leave it?" I asked in return. "It's been a long time since it happened and I'm also really tired and just want to cuddle and sleep for longer than an hour or two. I'm not in the like, headspace to really talk about it more."

"Of course we can leave it be," Nico said before giving me even more kisses, this time by my jaw. "I love you. Regardless of whatever Gabe did and regardless of whatever you've done on quests and regardless of anything that's happened this last month, I still love you. In like, the gayest way possible, I love you."

Did he have to say all of that?

I'm not sure, but it was nice to hear. He definitely knows how anxious I've been lately, and I guess he's smart enough to know that, although it's less than with the others, I still worry about us and get anxious about if I did anything wrong or if he realized that he doesn't like me or... Yeah.

"I love you, too, Neeks."

This week won't kill me because it can't.

Not because of the gods or any favors they insist that owe me, but because of me and my need to go home and see my mom again and go out with Nico on a date where we aren't stressed about time and monsters and our friends on the boat.

Regardless of my anxiety, or my suicidal thoughts, or my self harm attempts, this week can't kill me.

I've made it this far. We only have this week left.

I can't kill me.

It isn't allowed.