Leavitt Stafford and the Awful, Terrible, Not Very Nice Plan.

Chapter the Sixth: Tearoom Relations

John was beginning to grow accustomed to the vociferous, distractible, and peculiar nature of Clarence. Though they would occasionally disagree on the the vision of John's father, they would take great pleasure in discussing a great variety of topics, ranging from castles and literature to grass and cobblestones, and the days would fly by as they conversed with one another, for they began to greatly enjoy the company of one another.

Not only was John growing accustomed to Clarence, but he was also growing rather fond of him, and he was beginning to experience feelings of tenderness. As he found himself feeling a more overwhelming affection towards him, he also began to grow fearful. If he grew too fond of him, people would talk, and then the coppers may arrest him for gross indecency! Oh, he must stop this nonsense before it was too late! But, though he knew what he must do, he did not wish to stop. As a matter of fact, he wished to increase the time he spent around his newfound dear friend!

John, after perhaps a week of discussions, had made the decision to invite Clarence to the local tearoom so that they may get to know one another in more depth.

"HOW WONDERFUL!" Clarence had cried, leaping into the air. "I shall eagerly anticipate our meeting! I wish we could meet sooner so that I may be able to bear the wait!"

Another significant problem which had arisen was that John had begun to find Clarence to be positively endearing. Whenever he thought of him, a smile which bore a shocking resemblance to one of a thoroughly smitten and infatuated individual would threaten to creep across his face. Whenever Clarence entered his personal space, a vivid red blush would spread across the countenance of John. Although Clarence had never stated the fact, John knew that the gentleman was a homosexual, and he suspected that he had had homosexual relations in the past. However, he must never reveal his feelings, lest he place both of them in grave danger.

Today, one of the few days in which he had managed to garner some time for himself, he put utmost care into his appearance as he prepared to meet his friend. He stepped into his creaseless black trousers, began to button up his freshly ironed shirt, tied his scarlet tie with an impeccable knot, donned his spotless black gilet, coated his hair with Macassar oil to provide it with utmost shine and to prevent strands from escaping, put on his shoes, which were shined to perfection, and grabbed ahold of his umbrella. He placed the coins required for the tearoom inside a pocket of his trousers, alongside some additional wherewithal, which he would give to a beggar. Patting himself down so as to ensure that he appeared as neat as possible, he made his way out of his small household which resided on a street which was crammed together as though it were sardines, and he hailed a cabriolet towards the centre of the town.

The concourse within the town centre thronged as he arrived, causing the stench of sweat to diffuse throughout the cold, damp air which carried portents of torrential downpour. As he descended, bodies collided with his own. He must practice utmost caution within this crowd, lest he have his pockets picked.

He barged his way throughout the crowd, though he felt dreadful for doing so. Although everybody else in the crowd was jostling against one another, he could not help but feel as though he was being dreadfully intrusive and impolite. The rain began to fall, but there was scarcely room to use his umbrella, and so the rain began to soak his impeccably ironed clothing. He hurried towards the next street, guarding the coins in his pocket.

By the time he had reached the street in question, he was thoroughly drenched, and he felt sickened by the ghastly odour of the manure upon the streets and the sweat of the industrious gentlemen who surrounded him, and his head was beginning to spin as a result of this. He made his way towards the entrance of the tearoom and checked his pocket watch. He was ten minutes early.

He made his way into the warm shelter of the tearoom before purchasing a cup of tea. As he thought of the arrival of Clarence, a nervousness crept over him and made his stomach feel as though it had been filled with butterflies. What had he been thinking when he had believed that coming to this tearoom had been a good idea? He was going to cause everybody to believe he was a homosexual!