Leavitt Stafford and the Awful, Terrible, Not Very Nice Plan.

Chapter the Thirteenth: The Infant

Across the rolling hills and valleys the infant glided. The infant neither possessed wings nor appeared to be buffered in any way whatsoever by the forces of the wind, and it seemed to, aside from the fact that it was flying, be merely sitting upon the floor and playing with its doll, which, as was the case with the majority of dolls from such an era, appeared as though it was possessed by demons. Naturally, the dolls were not possessed by demons, though they did all contain holy cameras which enabled the angels to observe the peculiarities of the humans of the 1800s in acute detail through virtual reality much more advanced than the kind which you, the reader, are most likely aware of. As a matter of fact, the virtual reality in question is, through equations beyond human comprehension, more real than actual reality.

Returning to the infant, the infant soared over a farm, thus causing a burly farmer to point at it in utter astonishment. "Can you see that?" he enquired to the other farmer, who rather resembled him, for he was his brother.

"See what?"

"The bloody infant! It's soaring over the hills!"

The brother could indeed see the infant, though he did not wish to acknowledge it, for he did not wish to speak as though he were a madman. "I have no idea what you speak of. Are you going batty, Hector?"

Foolish humans! The infant did not care whether the farmer believed it to be real or not, for it only served one purpose, and that was to unleash true horrors. It continued gliding over the hills as it cast judgment on the humans for their witless and derisible behaviour. Why did they deny reality merely because it did not make sense to them? Such is the behaviour of an ignoramus!

The infant arrived at the forest by the town in which our tale takes place, the forest by which John and Clarence had strolled days before, and began to levitate through the streets. It was at this very moment that the detestable vermin known as humanity at last took notice of it, and, similarly to earlier that very day, the crowds broke into a horrifying cacophony of screams.

"Shut the fuck up," commanded the infant in an absurdly deep and gravelly voice. It shook its corpulent crown and wrinkled its button nose in disgust.

In response to such shocking events, three ladies and two gentlemen fainted.

With utmost impatience, the infant continued its journey, ignoring the detestable screams of the human vermin. Should it not arrive at the sole household in this town which did not bear an utterly hideous appearance expeditiously, Zeus himself would end its tenure within this universe precisely as quickly as it had appeared!

The infant turned a corner and glided by the sickening households which reeked of the stench of humanity, though the houses were fortunately becoming ever sparser, but oh no! A park revealed itself five streets onwards, and it was full of human children! The infant wished to fly towards the park and inform the children that they were detestable and undeserving of love, for this was the truth, and so it did so with utmost vigour. As the children wept and ran towards their mothers, the infant cackled. Oh, how it loved observing the suffering of humanity!

At last, as the infant glided across the final four streets, a house with the most beautifully despicable appearance revealed itself in the middle of the more heterogeneous of the streets. The house even possessed turrets which the infant could impale children upon once its mission had been accomplished!

The infant settled itself upon the porch, and began its elaborate act of weeping as though it were nothing more than an abandoned babe. After all, it was merely a poor, innocent orphan child who had been been abandoned due to its mother having engaged in a shameful affair and wishing for the shame never to be associated with the unfortunate soul! How could one not cast pity upon such a sweet and helpless child?