Two Minutes for Hooking

Chapter 22

James
After that, things with Jocelyn and I settled into a rhythm that was fun and easy. Our days were filled with practice and training as well as school for her. In the evenings we would get together and eat dinner, then she would spread her books out on either her bed or mine and study while I tried to keep my hands off her and played catch up on my favorite shows. It always ended up the same way and inevitably we would find ourself very distracted in each other. Then we would fall asleep in whichever bed we started in and the next morning we would go for a run together.
When I had games during her free time, she was always there watching. It didn't really matter if it was a home game or an away game. If it was an away game I would try to talk her into sneaking into my hotel room which never worked because she didn't want me to get in trouble. And it ended up working out for the best anyway since, more often than not I was forced to room with Rush.
When she played during my free time, I was always there, banging on the glass and cheering her on. Proudly wearing her jersey that I won in game night auction. We got to know each others friends and even met each others parents. Each day I found myself feeling more and more for her, the words I wanted to tell her were clawing at my throat every time I looked at her but I knew she wasn't ready to hear them. Every night when I held her after making love it was a struggle not to tell her. I was hoping she would be ready to hear them soon, and I was hoping she felt the same way too. I was pretty sure she did, but you never could be certain.
And the entire time, in the background of our happiness, I could hear the ticking time bomb, we were both draft eligible, we were both in uncertain positions for our careers. And sooner or later we would get answers to the unspoken question of where we went from here. But for now we were happy to live in our little cocoon of romance and I think we both hoped the world would fuck off and leave us alone for a little while.
Sadly, the time bomb came sooner rather than later, and it was poised for the destruction of our carefully constructed cocoon.

Jocelyn
I knew I should have told James about being olympic track but I just couldn't bring myself to burst our bubble of happiness. Besides, I kept telling myself, we were both really busy and I hadn't found the right time to tell him.So that's why when my agent called during one of the rare days when neither of us had anything going on, I felt my heart turn to stone in my chest and plummet to my stomach.
"Hello?" I asked, my voice breaking with anxiety.
"Jocelyn, if you aren't already sitting down, then you need to."
"Um, ok." I said, "what's up?"
"You're in. One of the girls from New York has a mysterious upper body injury and is out indefinitely and another from the midwest is expecting and can't participate in training camp. They're expecting you at training the Monday after the championship."
I sat there in complete silence. I was afraid to even breath, afraid that one sound or movement would break the spell and send me hurtling over the precipice where I would have to choose between two things I wasn't sure I wanted to live without.
My career and dreams, or James. The wonderful, amazing man who came into my life and slid so seamlessly into my life.
"Jocelyn, are you there? Did you hear me?"I cleared my throat, "yeah, sorry I'm here."
"You're rather quiet, I expected jubilation, maybe even fireworks. Are you freaking out?"
"A little bit.I guess I hoped but I never really thought it could happen. Is there anything I need to do?"
"Not yet. For now, you just celebrate, safetly and mildly, mind you. But have some fun. I'll email you the details and give you a follow up call tomorrow. Congratulations!"
I mumbled a thank you and a goodbye and let my phone fall into my lap. Holy crap.
I could feel James' eyes on me, "hey, are you ok?" he nudged my arm.
"Yeah, yeah I'm great. A little shocked I guess, but great."
"Good," he smiled his beautiful smile, so why do you look like you saw a ghost?
I swallowed thickly and pulled up my big girl panties. This was it. The time had come and I had nowhere left to run.
"So, that was my agent. I don't know if I ever told you, actually scratch that, I know I didn't tell you but I'm olympic track. But I've been an alternate or sometime now. I didn't think I'd actually get pikced. I thought I was toward the bottom of the alternates or something but two girls are out for health reasons and I guess, I'm in.."
I squeezed my eyes closed and waited for the shock or backlash but all I heard was the sound of the couch cushions as James got up. A part of me was sure he was goinng to walk out the door because he knew what olympic track meant for our relationship would inevitably end.I jumped when I felt his arms come around me and the next thing I knew he was pulling me up into a giant bear hug.
"Congratulations, I am so proud of you." He said softly in my ear, squeezing me tight and pulling my feet up off the ground. I hugged him tight and squeezed my eyes closed to try and keep the tears at bay.James slowly lowered me to the ground and pulled back. His smile turning to a look of concern, mingled with confusion, at the sight of my tears.
"Hey," he gently wiped the tears from my cheeks, "what's this all about? These don't look like tears of happiness." His smile, normally a permenant fixture on his face, was nowhere to be seen. I dug down to find my bitterness and fueled myself with it to try and keep the ache away. "You have to know what this means James. I leave at the end of the season and I don't know where I'll be going after. It might make more sense to transfer to a different college, closer to the training center. I already train all the time but now I'm going to have to train even more and where does all of that leave us? I knew better than to get into a relationship.I'm so stupid." I rubbed my hands over my forehead trying to relieve the growing ache between my temples. For the first time, in all the time I had known him, his face slipped into a deep frown. "Do you really think I didn't know what I was getting into? I always knew we would come to a moment like this. And we'll just take it a moment at a time. I don't know where I'll be going yet. My agent has been talking to teams and he's pretty sure I'll be selected this year. It's my last chance. I wasn't drafted last year and I'll be too old next year. It's the way this career path goes. We both knew this was coming but I'm begging you to please not throw this away before we more. Lets just take it a day at a time, please."
His eyes bored into mine imploringly, I couldn't bring myself to either agree or disagree with him. "Don't answer me right now. Just take a deep breath, sit down on the couch with me and let me hold onto you for a little bit. You seem like you need to feel a little grounded while you work through all the thoughts going through your brain and I'm happy to help."
I allowed him to pull me onto the couch and against his chest and relaxed into his hold. He turned on the movie we had been watching before my agent called and gently ran his fingers up and down my arm. Slowly I felt myself relax, my muslces unclench and my thoughts started to make a little more sense.He was right, neither of us knew where we were going, not technically. If he was drafted, he could end up anywhere, maybe even wherever I end up. I was draft eligible too. Although there were currently only four teams in the league and my chances of being drafted were very slim I would at least be able to become and unrestricted free agent after it. There was a chance, just a chance that he could end up close enough to wherever I was that we could make this work. Make this something more, something real. Maybe even permenant. I took a deep breath, breathing in the scent of him. With the collecting of my thoughts came the exhaustion that follows after an emotional freak out. And I found myself nodding off to sleep feeling safe, warm and hopeful. Maybe, just maybe, everything would turn out ok after all.