Normal? I wish

I love you

Addilyne's POV
I was laying in bed tucked into Ryder's side he was asleep I acted like I was asleep so he would go to sleep it's my fifth day of suspension I was thinking about it all everything in my past and wanted to cry but than I started to think about Ryder and couldn't help but smile he brought me so much happiness I promised myself that I wouldn't love nobody because everyone that I loved left me but I think I love him.....
"Why are you awake beautiful" Ryder's said in that sexy sleepy voice
I tried to act like I was asleep because it's now 3 in the morning and we payed down about ten
"I know your awake babe"he whispered in my ear
"Mhmm"i mumbled
"Why are you awake"he asked again
"I couldn't sleep"i said it was half true if I would stop thinking I could go to sleep but hey whose to blame
"But you were asleep before I went to sleep"he said looking into my eyes
I can't look into people's eyes and lie I just can't do it
"Uhh I woke up and couldn't fall back to sleep"i stuttered out looking at his chest
"Don't lie to me beautiful"he said squeezing my thigh
"I was thinking" I said quietly
"About what"he asked
"Everything"i said
"You could have woke me up and I would have talked to you you know that right?" He asked
"Why should you have to stay up just cause I'm fucked up and can't stop thinking to sleep"i said huffing
We were on our sides facing each other no his hand holding my hip and me laying on the other I felt safe in his arms
"Because I care about you and don't want you to go through anything alone and your not fucked up"he said meaning it all
"But I am"i said back
"No your not"he said sternly
"I am and will always be fucked up"i said back to him
I felt a stinging sensation on my butt than realized he had smacked my butt
"Addilyne Storme you are not and never will be fucked up your the strongest girl I know do not talk down on yourself" he stated looking me in the eye
I put my head in his chest blushing like crazy
"I won't hesitate to do that again Addilyne "he said kindly but sincerely
"Do you wanna tell me what you were thinking about"he asked quietly tilting my chin up to look at him
"Everything why did he leave me? Why did mom have to go? Why does everyone try to knock me down? I just don't know anymore"she said quietly on the verge of tears
"God chooses when we go and your mom is looking down on you watching over you and smiling because her daughter is the strongest girl out here baby I can't tell you why he left because I don't know everyone tries to knock you down because they know you will stand right back up baby I will always be here for you no matter what I promise"he said
That right there sealed the deal I know I love this boy
"Can I tell you something"i said quietly looking down
"Yes baby"he said tilting me head up to look him in the eyes
"I-i-i love you" I stuttered out
"Baby that makes me extremely happy you don't even know"he smiled so big
Omg he didn't say it back he doesn't love me back I'm such an idiot why did I say that I thought to myself burring my head into his chest
I felt my head being tilted up and looked at him
"I've been waiting for you to say that for a long time because baby I love you to"he said kissing me I instantly kissed him back he licked my bottom lip asking for entrance I let him in we were making out until he pulled away
"Baby we gotta stop or I ain't gonna be able to stop myself from taking you"he said sexily
"Go to sleep baby an this time for real" he said chuckling
"Night babe"i said yawning
"Night beautiful love you"he said kissing my forehead
"Love you"i mumbled back
I went to sleep with a smile on my face and that night I didn't have a nightmare I think I'm actually happy