its you | hyunlix

{s e v e n t e e n - life is life. }

"that's why we chose this time to help you realize your friends are willing to help you."  those words were stuck in felix's head, he laid in bed thinking about everything his friends were trying to do. all the things that they tried to make felix better and all the times they did enjoy being together and the laughs that made the young australian smile.

hoseok's words remained in his head for the passed two days. he knew it was wrong to even push his friends away. but was it really his intention to do so?

he continued laying in bed wondering what will happen before it's all too late to make things better with his friends, to actually open up to them. to bring them into his miserable life. his father remarried, his grandmother is his only family he can go to.

all the problems he faced, he faced with his grandmother. he always told himself that. he and his grandmother had gone through a lot and they were there for each other. yet, they still are.

his grandmother doesn't have a lot of time left and felix knows that. he wishes to spend every moment of it but he doesn't know how. all he wishes for his grandmother to know that he'll be okay once she leaves. but he doesn't know how to live without her. he lived with her since his mom and sister passed away. his father wasn't around as much. but he tried to keep in contact, it never happened a lot.

he felt the guilt crawling to him for not spending time with her lately. the rush of guilt crawling for him was just enough to tip him off to the urge of crying. he couldn't gather the strength to be honest of his feelings.

felix drowning his own thoughts made him much more vulnerable to everything. he tried writing down everything but he had no courage to do so. the words just ran over his mind.

he turned and looked over at the door, placing the notebook down on his nightstand he got up and walked towards the door. "mimi?" he called out right after hearing a thump from the hallway.

right then and there he saw his grandmother on the floor, the nurse out to get groceries for the two. he ran over and called 119, checking his grandmother's pulse right under her jawline near her ear. like how his grandmother's nurses showed him.

he looked at his phone and cried, "hello? please help me, mimi fell. please send help."

as tears fell out of his eyes, ignoring the first responders to check on his grandmother's breathing. "mimi, listen to me. it's not time to go.. please.. don't go. mimi! don't go!"

felix grabbed his phone and put it to his ear, "she's not breathing. send help please.." he choked out.

he never gotten up to look for someone or run out to get another person to help. the pain of leaving his grandmother's side hit him hard.

he placed his fingers right under her jawline like the dispatcher says. her pulse was weak, steady but weak. and while the dispatcher was aiding him. he realized this could be the last moment he's ever having with his grandmother.

her breathing became more shallow and her pulse got weaker. while his eyes remained on his grandmother. there was nothing he could decipher. the only thing on his mind was his grandmother and the thought of losing her pained him a lot.

he couldn't hear the first responders coming into the house, all he could hear are his cries for his grandmother to stay. to live. to see him off to graduate. to even see him get accepted into seoul national university.

all the things he wants to do with his grandmother, all start fading away. while he just only thought of the worst thing possible.

losing his grandmother.

the only person who was deemed to be normal in his family.

the one who took him in as soon as things in his life started falling down.

at this point... felix never has felt more alone.

***

"i wonder if felix is doing alright." the male whispered to himself while his cousin laid on his bed, while he played some random game he found online.

"why are you wondering if he's doing alright? didn't they burst at you?"

"come on yeji, don't be like that. it's a something we don't talk about. everything's going good as of now. it's all i wonder right now. it's not something i'm proud of, that i can't seem to tell him everything." hyunjin turned the computer off, turning around.

"let's play an online game." yeji sat up, taking her phone out and looked at him. "let's play pubg mobile. it's been a while since we played together."

the male sighed, taking his phone out. "let's go to livik, and hot drop."

yeji nodded, logging onto the game and adjust herself on the bed. "lend me some headphones." she said as she held her hand out, looking at her cousin. "please."

he rolled his eyes, smiling as he took out a pair of headphones he had for her whenever they'd play some games.

yeji knew she had the money but never really wanted to do anything with it. so, she only borrowed something from him. a few weeks she'd return it and thank him for lending it to her.

hyunjin just stayed at his gaming station, blankly staring at the screen of his computer. he sat there, completely thinking of all the possibilities he could to have felix to himself.

yeji looked at her cousin and slapped his shoulder, "come on, let's play. yena's online with her brother. let's play."

hyunjin twitched and looked at his cousin, nodding. "i'm going online." he said while taking out his phone, logging into the online game.

yeji placed the headphones on her head, making sure her mic was working while doing so.

she and yena became really close the past couple days and realized the two were very similar.

yena kind of reminded her of the male in front of her. in ways she couldn't explain.

"come on, invite me yeji. we got a match to play." hyunjin softly pushed her and sat right next to her, leaning against the headboard.

he accepted the invitation to join the team and while doing so his phone began to ring. felix's name appeared on his screen and immediately answered.

"felix? are you okay?" hyunjin asked, looking at his cousin and mouthing, 'i gotta go.'

she nodded and let him go.

"hyunjin..." he left his room to the hallway.

felix's voice sounded broken and weak.

"mimi... she's..." felix held his breath and exhaled, "in the hospital. i– i couldn't c–call anyone else. ca— can you come?"

"yes, i'll be there. focus on your breathing okay? don't do anything until i'm there."

a/n: okay, i know it's been long since i last updated but i'm here with something that i wish i could've worked on very good and gotten it to be more descriptive.

i'm working on it okay? but i've updated. and i hope you like it. i'll try and make sure i'll update again soon. i've already started it but i'm not sure how it's going to be.