3...2...1...ACTION!

Chapter XXI: Empty promises.

Charles asked what I wanted to have for lunch, I waved him off gesturing to get me whatever he wanted. He nodded and ordered our food. I never even bothered to listen to what he was getting. Whatever it was it didn't matter, I would probably have a bite or two and call it a day. "How have you been?" he asked while taking a seat in front of me. "Take a wild guess." I said in a monotone voice waiting to see his reaction. "I take it not so well, huh?" never saying anything I just raised my eyebrows and let out a long frustrated sigh. "You know you can always talk to me. You and I didn't get the chance to get that close to one another, but that doesn't mean it has to stay that way." I nodded agreeing with him, as much as I needed to talk, I knew that I would end up being a burden to him. He has enough on his plate already. "Don't worry too much about me right now. My main concern is you and Jean... how are you holding up?" I asked reaching out to grab his hand and give him a supportive squeeze. "I'm alive ain't I? I wish I could say the same for others. Some men took their own lives out there, they couldn't handle it. When Jean and I came back here, we were accompanied by a few others..." he went quiet and just then the waiter came by with our food.

I would be lying if I said the timing wasn't perfect. We dug in but I couldn't eat, I stared down at the food and remembered the promise I made to Jean when I was beginning to struggle with my food consumption. I couldn't help it, I would either forget to eat or feel too disgusted to put anything in my mouth. I remembered how I managed to have a full meal with Elinor and how good she made me feel. She helped me forget that I was an awful person at times and now I can't seem to get her off my mind. It's like I was bound to her one way or another. "What about those few others?" I asked eager to find out more of what truly happened. Charles put his burger down and wiped his hands with a napkin. "We brought them back home. Or, at least, what remains of them. Some came back with only one arm or leg, some came back without a pulse, while others... we could only find scraps of them." I could feel a lump form in my throat. "Their families-" Charles cut me off. "It was... hard. To say the least. We had to hold back our tears when we told their wives, siblings, mothers and fathers that their loved ones loved them dearly, and... and that they thought of them as they looked at the face of inevitable death."

"Oh god..." my voice barely escaped my lips, soft as a whisper unable to process it all.

"I- I uhm, I can still feel that little old lady's arms wrapped around me when she first saw me. She thought I was her son... She cried thanking the lord above for bringing her son back home safe and sound. I had to... I had to push her away. Tell her that she was mistaken. Pointed at one of the coffins, told her that we did return him and how much he spoke of her and how much he wanted to show her pictures of this woman he exchanged letters with. She was a gorgeous woman, they were pen pals for a few months and she even showed up only to discover that the person she sent all those sentimental letters to was now..." I could feel tears blur my vision, I could no longer breathe and I excused myself.

I quickly got up and stepped outside and lit a cigarette leaving my food untouched on the table. I pulled out a cigarette and started smoking. Charles didn't know that I kept on smoking, since I would constantly tell him and Jean that I quit. I never really quit. Once I was done I flicked it out on the street and I reached into my handbag to get another one when Charles joined me holding a take away bag. "You barely touched your food so I thought I'd pack it up for you." – "thank you, that's extremely thoughtful of you." I said still not meeting his eyes and dropping the packet of cigarettes back into my purse. "I thought you quit." I shook my head while looking down at my feet. "I'll quit tomorrow." I said while walking past him into the car. We were now only a few minutes away and the sun was at its hottest at that time. "What do you think they'll do to people like you and Jean?" I asked. Charles turned his head to face me confused by the nature of my question. "What do you mean?"

"The survivors." I explained. "What will happen to them?"

"If they have that kind of money, they will be hospitalised immediately, if not they would be put on the waiting list."

"What if their physical injuries were minor but they carry a mental injury far more dangerous?"

"What about them?"

"Won't you get that type of treatment?" I asked and Charles chuckled.

"We're told to 'man up', that's about it, unless we hire a therapist like what we did with Jean because you know his mother gets."

"Having to deal with it isn't easy..."

"What? Post traumatic stress disorder? ''We're men, we can deal with it' and all sort of crap that we are constantly told."

"I'm sorry..."

"You have nothing to apologise for Jenny. But this is America. If the government truly did care about its people, we wouldn't see this." Charles said pointing out the window at a group of young African American boys getting scolded by a middle aged white lady holding what looked like their basketball with what seems to be her son beside her. Her screams were so loud even by passing by the public basketball court I could hear some of what she was saying. "All of you are thieves! You were harassing my son who wanted to play here but you delinquents stole this area!" She does realise that this court is part of the public domain, yet she continues to stigmatise these young people. "Remember what happened in Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee? Yeah we aren't so different from them. After all, this segregation spread its wings everywhere. It's inevitable at this point."

"God bless America."

"God bless America indeed."

We were promised a good life here, but for what cost? It's time we return the land to the people who were there before us, and end this hypocrisy. "Land of the free home of the brave" bullshit. Because if it were the land of the free then all men would then truly be born equal. That was decades ago, but it seems that a lot has changed since then and now... some seem to be more equal than others.