3...2...1...ACTION!

Chapter XXXIII: Give It Time.

Jenny's POV: 

"Good afternoon folks and welcome back to Entertainment Tonight! We see that after five years of acquaintance, our golden boy Sebastian Wilson finally proposed to Jennifer Louise Rivers! She became the new it girl ever since Elinor Zhao's fallback in 1969 right after the movie "Another Love" produced by her now ex-husband Earl Baldwin. Could her disappearance be in relation to that nasty break up? Probably. One thing is for sure though, it seems her friendship with sweet Jenny was strong enough to pull her back into the states to attend her wedding and wedding plans..."

I heard the voice of the host on the radio blabbing around from Sebastian's kitchen. He and I had gotten closer throughout the course of five years. He was the closest person to me — besides Ari — whom I felt safe enough for me to confined to. He was kind enough to offer me all the things I need and even help my lawyer get rid of all the remaining photographs of Elinor and I kissing. He and I made a type of deal between us and that is if we reach our thirties and we find ourselves unmarried, we would marry each other. I knew that it was a bad idea considering I was well aware of his crush on me but people talk. They talk a lot. Especially now that the war is finally over and things seem to be settling down, I didn't feel like dealing with all the drama.

I actually decided to start exploring my sexuality after Elinor and I split up. There were so many uncharted territories within my mind and body I felt the need to explore and discover, so I started an affair with Sebastian. It started as a no strings attached fling, nothing serious. Not that it could be serious. We agreed it would just be sex between us, I couldn't give him more than my body, not when my soul was still resting with her all the way in China. I can only hope that she realises that not only she had taken my soul but my mind also. All I could offer was my body. Even now when we are engaged, I can share my thoughts and feelings with him but it's not the same. It will never be the same without her.

Two days after I left her during the premier, I received a letter from her. I kept it with me along with the last copy of the photograph of us kissing. I wasn't worried about Sebastian finding them since I was extremely strict when it comes to boundaries and I trust him enough to respect that. I picked it up and read it to myself for the millionth time.

To my dearest

Jenny

I have no idea what made you run away that night. But just know, you took a piece of me, you took my heart and soul with you. Now, what I ask of you is not for you to return them. But to keep them safe and to invite me to the happiest days of your life, if you won't be attending mine.

Yours and only yours

Elinor Zhao.

Tears fill in my eyes and my vision blurs everytime I read this letter and I cannot help it. I keep on telling myself time will heal the wounds, but they won't heal. Not when I cannot bring myself to stop reopening them. It's like she's haunting me, following my every move, as if she knows where I am and knows exactly how she could make me remember her. "I promise you Elinor, I will take good care of your heart, until I can return it to you." I whisper to myself wishing she could hear me say it. There are so many things I wish I could tell her but it seems impossible right now. It's all too late now. However, I know I will see her again, since just like how I kept my end of the promise, it seems she has too. I asked her to be my bridesmaid. I needed her to be as close to me as possible, I needed to know her opinions on the wedding plans, on the dress I'll be wearing, on the food, the guest list, anything anyone could ever imagine being during the wedding, hell even the lingerie for the wedding night. It'll be as if it was her I was marrying and not Sebastian. We agreed to meet again this evening and I was getting nervous to see her again. It has been five years... she must be forty by now, a good ten years age gap but that never really stopped me from falling for her. I felt safe around her and that was enough for me to open up my heart. It's still open for her, never really managed to close it.