DESTINY'S PLAN - *HOT NEW BOOK*

Chapter 35 🔞

"Is Theo coming in?!", mum managed to ask from her downstairs study before I was even fully in the door.

"No!", I called back shutting the house door behind me.

"Okay. How was your day?!". I rolled my eyes at her question; I could feel a tightness around my heart begin to form.

"Good!", I yelled, keeping my answers short, not wanting to fully engage with her. Instead, I took my coat off and kicked off my shoes and ran up the stairs to my room, desperately needing to be in my own space.
I could feel the fist around my heart grow tighter with every step I took up the stairs. And the air in the hallway grew thin making breathing a taxing task causing my body to become weak and shaky. But I dragged it along knowing that I just needed to get into my room. There will be air in my room.

Finally at the top step, I lunged my exhausted body at the doorknob, yanking it open and slamming it shut behind me before dropping to the floor gasping for air.

'Common Krissy deep breaths' I told myself as I breathe in and out, in and out, over and over again as I applied pressure on the tight spot in my chest.

I did this until the grip loosed and the feeling of panic eased...

"Fuck. Where's my phone?", I said digging my hands into my pockets.

I really hope I didn't leave it in Theo's car. But the way I flew out of there, I wouldn't be surprised if I left it on the chair.

I eyed my purple coat that was flung beside me on the floor. I shuffled over to it, pulling the coat onto my lap as I dug into the deep pockets. I let out a breath as I feel the smooth metal of my phone.

Another sigh left me; I could feel my eyes sting as I began searching through my contacts.

I scooted over to the foot of my bed and rested my head on it before making the call.

BEEP BEEP.... BEEP BEEP....

I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment, preventing any tears from falling as I listened to the 'beeps' of the phone line waiting to be connected. I could feel the hand of anxiety take a hold of my chest again as I sat on the floor contemplating whether or not I actually wanted him to pick up.

....BEEP BEEP....BEEP BEEP-"The person you called cannot get to the phone right now, please leave a message after the tone"-BEEEP

"Um, hi Theo is me. I know your probably still driving but I just wanted to check you were okay...

I paused as my voice began to wobble and a lump in my throat began to form.

"... and I... and I don't want you to be angry with me. I feel like I didn't explain myself well and I don't ever want you to think I was lying to you, or that Jason and I were mocking you, cause we weren't! It really wasn't like that, it was... well I will explain it better when you pick up. Please pick up next time, okay... love you...bye".

I dropped the phone beside me before squeezing my eyes tighter, pushing the tears I was holding back out.

I never wanted to hurt Theo. I wanted to protect our relationship from Jason's mess, that's why I never told him. But I learnt today that withholding information can be a form of a lie. And the way Theo looked at me, with so much... disappointment, anguished me.

I physically winced at the memory.

'Fuck me', I breathed out as I sluggishly pulled myself up off the floor. I just wanted to curl up in a cocoon of my duvet and sleep the mess away.
As I stood up, I kicked the phone further away finding the device useless knowing deep down that Theo wasn't going to call me back.