TO LOVE A MONSTER ❪ jujutsu kaisen ❫

vi: soothing chamomile tea.

FUJIWARA COMPOUND, 2010.

Even not on the first anniversary of Haku's death does Tooru treat her with an ounce of sympathy. Kaori's body aches as he flings her into the wall, hearing the rattle of her bones as pain clouds her nerves, lighting them on fire. She knows her body is now a pattern of bruises and barely healed lacerations from the missions he sends her on, injuries from both Curses and the shamans she kills dully. "How disappointing," her mentor's voice is as callous as ever and his nails dig into her cheeks as he lifts her face to look at him. She snarls at him and her head snaps to the right as he slaps her. This time, she lets her eyes stay on the ground and he smiles, pleased at her submission. "Well, at least you're learning to stop barking," he says with approval. Kaori wants to bite him with the sharp fangs, wanting to show him what else she knows besides 'barking' but the sharp amount of shame slams into her. How could she think such traitorous thoughts? Tooru is her mentor and he is only rough on her because of her failures, her multiple shortcomings he never manages to iron out. If he hits and beats her it is only because he wants her to improve, wants her to survive in their harsh world. 

"Forgive me, Fujiwara-sama," she keeps her head lowered and Tooru chuckles, grip on her cheeks softening for a moment. 

"You're not quite forgiven, Kaori-kun, but since it's such a tough day I suppose I'll forgive you," gratitude sparks in her and she hurriedly stands to her feet when he releases her. "Tell you what, let's go to the cemetery after this. Lay some sunflowers and white lilies on Haku-kun's grave," she swallows at her brother's name, agony flickering through her and Tooru smiles knowingly. "But first, let me see how much you've improved since his death. Let's see how you could have changed his fate," Kaori raises her to her full height and throws herself at Tooru, resuming the training once again.

TOKYO JUJUTSU HIGH, NOVEMBER 2016.

The alarm clock by her side shows the numbers '5:00 am' when she turns to blink at it blearily and she sighs, staring at the ceiling and trying to forget the images of her nightmares. She's gotten over the screaming bit, no longer a child whose throat would be nearly ripped apart from the onslaught of nightmares and tortured memories that would run through her mind behind closed eyes but she still feels her eyes stinging. She rams her hand against her face to get rid of the pained sensation, relishing in the physical pain and using it to curb the emotional one as she stands up and ties her short hair up. She opens her bedroom door and creeps through the hallways towards the kitchen, relieved that nobody else seems to be awake. The night breeze from one of the open windows cools her down as she moves through the kitchen, reaching and sifting through the cabinets for the chamomile tea she knows Gojo brought weeks ago. Despite the fact that nobody uses the kitchen, it's always fully stocked because Gojo is always depositing souvenirs like dumplings from Osaka, chocolate biscuits that crumble in your mouth from Paris and a thousand other things in the shelves and cabinets like he's saying 'eat some damn food for fuck's sake'. It is what he is saying because he said that to them physically a few days ago word for word.

She knows she'll get shit from him if she doesn't eat them because Gojo seems to have a sixth sense for when she doesn't eat. Or, maybe he has a sixth eye but whatever it is, he always seems to know and whines for ages until she is exhausted of his needling. Kaori leans up and grabs a packet of the macaroons he got recently, unloading them onto a plate and munching on one while she boils some water for her tea. The crisp layer of the sweet contrasts with the tangy flavor of the filling and she's reaching for another one when she hears the door slide open.

"Kelp," Inumaki greets her with a harried look on his face, Panda following closely behind him. The boy has a bandage wrapped around his forehead and his throat syrup clutched tightly between his fingers as he collapses on the nearby couch.

"Hey, Kaori," Panda waves one hand before he falls onto the longest couch and falls asleep, snores leaving his mouth as he snoozes. Inumaki, despite his visible exhaustion, doesn't follow suit. He stares out of the window instead, shoulders tense and his eyes haunted. Kaori is aware that the life a Jujutsu Sorcerer leads isn't a pretty one. What they see out there will haunt them forever and they can not save everyone they want to, their outstretched fingers often being missed by mere millimeters. Their society thins out further and further with every Curse that accumulates and sometimes Kaori feels like they're fighting a losing battle. Thoughts like that often remind her of Haku so she dismisses them entirely. Her tea is ready and she picks it up, ready to leave. Something in her makes her hesitate, her eyes swimming back to Inumaki's slumped figure. Already small, he looks even tinier with the dark circles lining his eyes and the swollen state of his throat. Before she knows what she's doing, she's setting her cup of tea in front of him. Inumaki's head shoots up and he looks at her quizzically.

"It's chamomile tea. It'll help you sleep, Inumaki-san," she explains, mindful of her keeping her voice down for the sleeping Panda. Inumaki's eyes burn into her curiously as she leaves him to reach for the blankets in the cupboard, fanning one out over Panda's large form before wrapping one around Inumaki as well. "It'll get chilly tonight," she says and feels embarrassed by his gentle smile.

"Salmon," he thanks her and she nods in a short jerk before speeding into her room, exhausted by the sort but draining interaction.

𓍯 ˓𓄹 ࣪˖ sam's notes ! ❜

kaori: why the fuck are all these blasted first years constantly trying to talk to me?

also kaori: unconsiously mother hens the fuck out of said first years

kaori is a HUGE mother hen because of her practically raising haku. her taking care of panda and inumaki is just an automatic response to her because she does it to tooru as well ❪ not that he does the same for her... perhaps 👀