flower boy ~ yuwin

twentyeight

sicheng's pov

i'm going outside. it's night, the stars are out and the streets are empty. lucas is sleeping. i peeked into his bedroom and he is fast asleep. i was going to cuddle him, but he has to wake up early tomorrow, so i'll let him sleep.

im not tired. i'm the most awake i've ever been. which is weird. it's midnight.

my head is making weird noises, but im choosing to ignore them. they're scaring me, and my heart is beating fast, but they're not real, so i tell myself to stop.

i miss yuta. i want to kiss him. i want to hug him. i want to feel him again. i want him to have sex with me again. my body feels empty without him.

im sitting on the side of the road. cross legged and i'm leaning against the wall of my building. i smile, as i see the lights from the city. i want to go. i can't. it's late.

i look to the sky, seeing the stars as i wanted to. i will be one of those.

i will be a star, soon.

sigh.

the air is cold, and crisp. i take a deep breath. it hurts. more than usual.

i dont care.

i do it again. i feel alive for once.

yuta's hoodie is over my body as i shiver. it's so cold. i'm so cold.

i should go inside. i miss yuta.

i could walk to his house.

no.
lucas would be mad.

shut up sicheng. go inside. sleep.

im cold.

-

yuta: hi baby

yuta: i hope ur sleeping well baby

yuta: thinking about you. thought i'd text you

yuta: ur wonderful and i love you so much

yuta: i hope when you wake up, you have an absolutely amazing day

yuta: kisses <3

-

why am i here again.

hospital. beeping. people running around. blue gown, white ceiling, red blood. my head hurts. my chest hurts, my eyes hurt. i want to go home.

where is lucas? where is yuta?

i want them. i hope they're here.

please, i want to go home.

-

lucas: hospital

lucas: asap

yuta: 👍👍

-

sat in his car, yuta took a moment, in the car park of the hospital. he felt he was shaking too much to get up and run in just yet.

he took a deep breath, taking a sip of the coffee he made before recieving lucas' text. another breath, and he was walking through the cold car park as fast as he could.

he felt something off about sicheng recently, so his brain was all over the place. he prayed silently, before greeting lucas in the reception.

"is everything okay?"

lucas didnt reply. instead, he held yuta's arm and bought him to the room he was waiting in. it was a small room with a couch and a table, along with a tv playing daytime television.

"he stopped breathing last night- well, a few hours ago," lucas explained, as yuta listened along anxiously, "luckily he was with me, so i could call someone."

"is.. he okay now? is he breathing?"

"he is, but he's struggling. alot.." lucas sighed, "he's on a bunch of medication now, they're... they're working on him."

yuta nodded slowly, "do you... think it will be okay this time too?"

lucas took a moment to think, but instead of replying, he hugged yuta. as tight as he could. yuta felt his heart crack as lucas let out his vulnerable side.

he nodded again, not being able to let out any emotion other than sighs. he felt his lip quiver, but nothing more, as lucas pulled out of the hug.

"alright.. we'll wait it out."

"they said it's pneumonia again, like last time," lucas added, "just, alot worse this time."

yuta nodded.

"i'd....  y'know.. prepare yourself for anything."

yuta nodded.

it's all he could do.