What a Life This Is - A Collection of Short Stories

Late Nights and Ramen Noodles

Kojiro and Reki bond over microwave ramen, late-night television, and insomnia..
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It was a side effect of his anxiety disorder, the nights when Kojiro would wake up, staring at the ceiling fan spinning above his and Karou's bed, because it's always hellishly hot in Hawaii, even at night.

Tonight had been a bad one..

He didn't even remember exactly what he'd been dreaming about, all he remembered was pure darkness, getting closer and closer, closing him in as his lungs seemed to constrict, cutting off his air.

He'd woken up in the same state he always did after one of his nightmares, flat on his back in a cold sweat, staring up at the ceiling. He sat up quickly with a scowl on his face as he looked around the dark bedroom, and as his gaze fell on the alarm clock on his nightstand, Kojiro felt his shoulders sag as he read the time..

3:00 AM on the dot.. better the ungodly times of 1:30 or 2:45 he usually woke up after these incidents. Kojiro knew that it was useless to try and go back to sleep now, so instead, he decided to get up, his feet hitting the floor and crossing the room to the door with practiced silence.

As he opened the door to the hallway, he turned back to gaze at Karou sleeping peacefully in bed, and he smiled, half out of affection and half out of jealousy and bitterness.

Lucky.

He made sure to just barely crack the door as he exited the room, turning to walk down the hall slowly and making his way downstairs into the main area of their house. He went straight to the kitchen, opened one of the cupboards, and pulling out a cup of microwave ramen.

He turned the cup over in his hands as he walked down to the other side of the counter, ripping open the top and pulling out the foldable plastic chopsticks before setting the cup down and grabbing a bottle of water from the pantry.

He filled up the cup to the line and opened the microwave door, setting the cup inside and hitting the 30-second button a few times.

As Kojiro leaned on the counter with his hands and watched the cup spin through the microwave window, he suddenly heard a shuffling sound coming from behind him. He whipped around with surprising urgency, and immediately relaxed when he saw that it was Reki, standing on the other side of the kitchen and blinking at his dad tiredly.

".. Daaad?" Reki drawled out, rubbing his eyes and squinting at him, and Kojiro ran a hand through his hair, "Ah-.. hey kid- uhm.. d-did I wake you up?"

Reki shook his head, "I've been awake since midnight.."

Kojiro sighed and walked over, ruffling his son's head of red hair, "Rough night?"

Reki nodded this time, and both of them jumped as the microwave beeped loudly. Luckily, the other members of their family slept like the dead, so it didn't bother anyone.

"You want some ramen?" Kojiro asked, hooking a thumb behind his shoulder, and Reki nodded again, following his dad into the kitchen as Kojiro got another ramen cup, handing his son the already made one.

Once the second ramen was done, Kojiro and Reki moved to the living room, where Kojiro grabbed the remote and turned on the television, putting the volume low and tuning into a random reality show.

They watched tv and ate their ramen in silence for a while, and then Kojiro cleared his throat and spoke up, "So, what's got you down? Or- up, I should say."

Reki shrugged, "I dunno.."

"Been stressed about anything?" Kojiro asked, and Reki thought about it for a while, then he shook his head, "No.. I just-.. I'm not sure," he replied, then he leaned over so his head was resting against Kojiro's shoulder, "..Why does this happen to us?"

"Huh?" Kojiro asked, and Reki explained, "Why can't we sleep?"

Kojiro sighed, "It's a side effect of anxiety, bud.. its something that happens.. it sucks, but it happens."

".. I don't like it.." Reki replied, and Kojiro chuckled a bit, "Don't worry.. you get used to it eventually," he said, "I rarely ever wake up your Papa anymore."

"You used to wake him up?"

"Oooh yeah," Kojiro chuckled a bit, reliving the memory of the several times he used to wake up Kaoru in the middle of the night, and how annoyed the pinkette had been.

"Also," Reki suddenly said, and Kojiro snapped back to the present moment, "Nobody takes me seriously when I try and tell them."

"What do you mean?" Kojiro asked, and Reki shrugged, "When I try and explain that I can't sleep to my teachers or my friends, my teachers tell me that I probably spend too much time online, and my friends just say I'm being dramatic, or they try to tell me they have it worse."

Kojiro sighed, then he chuckled a bit, "I get that."

Reki looked at him, "You do?" He asked, and Kojiro nodded, "If I had a penny for every time someone told me that I don't seem depressed, I'd be a billionaire, kid."

Reki made a face, "People tell you that? That's rude."

"I know," Kojiro agreed, "Along with, 'it's all in your head,' or 'it could be worse,' or- the one that really makes me mad, when people tell me that I don't have it that bad, then proceed to list all the bad things that have happened to them or to other people they know throughout the years."

"Wow," Reki mused, "I'm glad I don't have depression."

His amber eyes widened, and he quickly looked up at Kojiro with an apologetic look, "S-Sorry.."

"It's alright," Kojiro said with a small smile, "I'm glad you don't have depression too, it sucks."

They were quiet for a bit, then Reki asked, "Is-.. Is there a way to fix it?"

Kojiro blinked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, is there a cure? For depression?"

"Oh-.. No," Kojiro replied, shaking his head, "There's no cure."

"..Oh.." Reki said sullenly, "So.. you're gonna have it forever?" He asked, and Kojiro shrugged, "I'm not really sure, maybe?"

"How long.. have you had it for?" The redhead asked another question, and Kojiro tilted his head as he thought about it.

"Uhm-.. Since I was in college.. so about twenty years."

Reki's eyes widened, "That's a long time," he commented, and Kojiro chuckled a bit and nodded slowly, "Yeah, it is.. but it's gotten better over that time.. There was a couple of years when I was in a really, really bad place.."

"..You told us about that," Reki mused, tilting his head, "But-.. you didn't really go into it."

"That's because Miya was there," Kojiro replied, "He's young, I didn't wanna tell him about the.. more gruesome stuff.."

"Well," Reki said, "He's not here now."

Kojiro blinked at him, then he sighed, "A-Are you sure? 'Cause-.. it's not pretty to hear about."

"I'll be fine," his son replied, and Kojiro took a deep breath, "Alright.. here goes.."