He Only Married Me For Revenge

Chapter 61: The claws of the truth

I came home that night carrying the whole world on my shoulders. I've never felt so numb in my whole life.. not even when I found out that my father has his first family and that we're just his second, or when I learned that we don't have the same mother with my siblings, or not even when I realized that I can't have a whole family that I dreamt of like every other child wants to have.

The hurt and pain I felt when he threw the bomb in front of me, was incomparable to those I felt when I was still young.. when I was bullied and everyone treated me like some trash. Because with this one, it feels like a poison to my blood.. it kills me slowly but surely. It made me think of my worth, that no matter what I'll try to do... I can never be enough. I can't have him and I can never call him mine. He will never be mine.

My mind is screaming and my heart is wailing inside of my rib cage. And I hate it when my mind is telling me to stop loving him, but my stubborn and stupid heart can't let go of what she feels. I couldn't breathe and couldn't think straight with those past few days.

I've been like a girl whom I was just watching in some drama series.. who looks happy on the outside, telling jokes, smiling, having a great time but they don't know.. I am dying inside. They don't realize that I'm hurt and tired, tired of not being good enough and tired to be just the second choice.

But honestly, I don't want them to know my pain, I don't want them to think that I'm weak, and attention-seeking, so I'm keeping it all inside. Playing the role of being the best actress and acts like everything's okay and perfect.. especially in front of him, but cries every night while asking the stars and the whole universe how to stop and kill the pain.

It's been a week since he told me the shocking news and since then, I tried to distance myself from him just to think of what I really feel. If I am going to stay with him and help him with his plan or stay away like my friends always telling me?

There were lots of happenings with these past seven days. One of that happenings.. was when Noelle and Sandy tried to cheer me up, so they asked me to go to the mall and have some girly moments. But to my one of a shity day, I encountered the queen bitch inside of one of the boutique.

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Flashback...

"Ohh.. hi, Madi."

I turned around to know who greeted me and my eyebrow automatically knows her way up.

"Are you shopping?" she asked me smirking.

I smiled and sneered. "No, I'm honestly trying to find some cure and ailments to someone's itchiness.. which I heard needs now to be scratch."

"Oh, Madi.. Madi.. Madi.. tsk.tsk.tsk." she said shaking her head. "Don't you think I don't know the truth?"

I crunched my eyebrows.. what truth is she talking about?

"That Gabriel only married you to make me jealous and get me back."

I laughed at her, although deep inside.. she pressed my already injured heart.

"And who told you that bullshit idea?"

"It's not really important. What important is, I already know the truth.. so you can stay away now with my Gabi."

I can feel my temper slowly rising up to my head.

"And who are you to tell me that bullshit idea of yours? I am the wife! I am the legal wife here... so just keep your nonsense thoughts inside your shity mouth! And whoever told you that lies, for sure he or she has a huge envy with us to make such kind of thing!"

"Lies? Are you sure that's just lies? Because if it's true, why did Gabriel always following me where ever I go? He keeps on calling me and asking me if I'm okay.. like our old days? And why did he choose to stay with me than staying with you almost every night?"