He Only Married Me For Revenge

Chapter 60: Broken-Hearted me

I found him still sitting in the living room. I thought I can no longer see him there. He's in dazed.. sitting while looking blankly at the coffee table. And he didn't even notice me walking towards the door. I sighed when I was about to open the door but he hadn't even moved a bit.

I shook my head and walked back to him. "Gabriel." I patted his shoulder.

He looked up a bit startled when he noticed me standing in front of him.

"Love.."

I hold my breath after hearing that word. "I have to go."

He stands quickly and looked at me. "Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?"

"Yeah, don't worry about me. I'm old enough to be careless." He looked at me directly to my eyes.

"Are we okay?"

I chuckled at him.

-'Fucking shit! I'm hurting! I am in pain! Am I okay?'-

"Of course! What made you think that we're not okay?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. Just take care." he pulled me into a tight hug, but I didn't hug him back. I just patted him and immediately pulled back. The scent of him and this sweet gesture makes me want to cry and run out of him.

"Call me if you need someone to drive you home."

I nodded. "I have to go." I said and walked towards the door, not bothering look back at him. I opened the door and sighed loudly.

But the moment I take my first step, tears started to flow down on my cheeks. I covered my mouth to prevent the sobs that coming out from my throat and run towards the garage.

The guards open the driveway when they noticed my car, and when I am outside the gate, I let myself scream as long as my throat hurts. I wanted to ignore the pain and tried to pretend that this feeling doesn't exist.. but I can't. Because the more I tried to be okay, the more I feel I am about to break down.

Tears were blurring my visions, but I continued to drive. Sobs after sobs were escaping from my throat. It hurts.. It really hurts.. I don't know how to stop it. I don't even know how to control it.

-'I thought we're okay! I thought he already stopped chasing her.. but fucking shit! I was wrong!'-

I opened the radio to distract me and focused on my driving, but even the DJ wants to hurt me more...

***Looking back I could have played it differently.. learned about the man before I fell.. but it took time to understand the man, now at least I know, I know him well...

Wasn't it good.. wasn't it fine.. isn't it madness, he can't be mine. But in the end he needs a little bit more than me, he needs his fantasies and freedom.. I know him so well...

No one in your life is with you constantly, no one is completely on your side.. And though I'd move my world to be with him, still the gap between us is too wide..***

I slammed my hands on the steering wheel.

"I hate you! I already know that! Why do you have to tell me that!"

I screamed at the singer who continued her song on the radio. But she's right! I'd move my world to be with him, but still the gap between us is too wide! He can't be mine!

And because I felt tortured with the song, I changed the station.. and my tears burst out more with the next song. Are there any song on this radio except these broken-hearted songs?

***Every now and then I cry.. every night, you keep stayin' on my mind.. All my friends say I'll survive, it just takes time...

But I don't think time is gonna heal this broken heart... no I don't see how it can if it's broken all apart.. A million miracles could never stop the pain, or put all the pieces together again..