Statehouse Stuff ig

Stripper Pole? Stripper Pole

So I'm bored and it's 3 o'clock in the morning so here's what would happen if Florida got a stripper pole installed at the statehouse(I know there's probably better wording for this but I'm tired and not gonna look it up.)

Warning: This contains gay, gay, cussing, more gay, homophobic slurs, religion, gay, weed, and even more gayness.

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Alabama: Like most of the Southern states he would on a rant about only "fags" or "whores" do that kind of stuff. Until someone bets money that he won't do it and he ends up falling on his ass.

Alaska: My man would not even go near the thing. He's 6'2 and weights 200 pounds. He's not messing around with a dainty pole.

Arizona: At first he would poke it to make sure it wouldn't burn him but after that he would just spin around in a circle.

Arkansas: He just wouldn't get involved. He usually sticks to himself anyways so people don't call him Ar Kansas.

California: Oh darling. This man made everyone stop and stare. His mom was a pole dancer so he knows moves. Made Texas almost die of a gay panic attack when he did a quick spin, upside down in just shorts. California knows how to and will pole dance. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. 

Colorado: Weed man wouldn't mess with it unless he's high. So he would mess with it almost everytime he passes it. He never learned any advanced moves from his mom like California did but he can still hang by just his legs and freak Utah the fuck out.

Connecticut: He probably would think nothing about it until he thinks of it as a chance to attempt to upstage his brothers. Yeah hon no. He would end up with an icepack on his head.

Delaware: In all honesty I don't know much about Delaware from the skits or videos besides he can't stand Maryland or Virginia but he's a Northeast state so he'll probably try it and end up cussing at a pole.

Florida: Oh honey, we all know that Florida would have a hell of time with it. Not as good as California or Nevada but definitely in top 3. And we all know Louisiana would be there throwing money.

Georgia: My man would mess with it half asleep and wake up at the top of the pole hanging upside down by his legs. And he would just wake up, take a sip of coffee and act like it never happened.

Gov: He would kill Florida for having it installed in the house. He wouldn't mess with it. Especially since he mainly wears suites.

Hawaii: Our Queen doesn't live at the statehouse but Alaska would send her videos of everyone else trying to use it.

Idaho: Kinda like Arizona and would just spin around it for fun.

Illinois: He and Wisconsin would both try it to see who would do better. Illinois would know how to do a few tricks but nothing too over the top.

Indiana: Would try to do a trick he saw someone else do then end up failing and falling on his ass.

Iowa: To be completely honest again I don't know much about him but I feel like he wouldn't think much about it or mess with it.

Kansas: Like most of the midwest we don't know much about him but I feel like he would just play around on the pole in all honesty.