Reaper's vengeance(mass effect x male OC) book 1 COMPLETE

Chapter 12: Comfort

He hadn't slept a wink. Kaine always tried to keep his emotions in check and try to hide his weakness. But right now he couldn't have felt any lower.

And Kaidan had been in surgery for the last ten or so hours from his injuries.

Kaine sat on the floor of the Cargo hold. His hulking form was patched with bandages and cream for his injuries. Despite his protests, No one allowed him to remain unattended. Not with what just happened.

Everyone else from Virmire, including Captain Kirrahe and the surviving members of his team had gotten away with an array of injuries. But they were at least alive and able to recover without difficulty. Now they all sat in the Cargo bay. All going over what to do next.

Kaine leaned down to stare at his massive claws, still stained with the dried blood of saren. His mind raced after his encounter with Sovereign. Its words cut deep into him, was he really alive? or just a tool. Could everything have been avoided if he just told everyone everything?

"It wasn't your fault." he looked up from his thoughts, catching Garrus and Ashley standing over him. "I've seen that look enough times to know what it means. The only one to blame in all of this is Saren."

Kaine simply shook his head, "no, this is on me. Despite everything I'm capable of, Kaidan still had to step in to fight Saren when I should have put the bastard down right off. I had him in my hands, I could have finished him off then and there." Kaine clutched his fist, the claws dug so deep into his palms that blood began to leak from them. dripping down to the cargo hold's floor.

"The price of victory, Kaine," said Ashely sadly as she looked away. "As harsh as it sounds it's the truth. And in war, there are always casualties."

Kaine roared and slammed his fists hard on the floor, a large dent formed as he stood up, "God I'm so sick of hearing that shit! Sick of war, death, suffering...I lost everyone I loved once before! I can't escape it!" he screamed punching the floor again.

Everyone stared at Kaine as he roared. He slammed his fists into the ground and screamed.

"But I can't just give it all up, can I?" Kaine said with his voice just as cold as his eyes. "Because there is always another mission. Another war to fight. Another enemy to kill. I don't get to have peace, I am a tool for war. that's all I will ever be."

Garrus went to say something when suddenly a voice spoke. Dr chakwas' voice echoed through the Normandy, "We managed to stabilize Lieutenant Alenko's condition. But the amount of damage done cannot be fixed on the ship. We need to transfer him to the medical facility on Arcturus for proper treatment. but we need to hurry, He might not have long."

With that, everyone remained silent. "I'm sorry," he said loud enough that everyone looked in his direction. Opening his eyes, he locked gazes with the others. "If I had just killed that bastard sooner this wouldn't have happened. Kaidan wouldn't be knocking on death's door."

The Commander's eyes widened, "Kaine no, it's not-" but He held up his hand stopping her. His eyes gazed across to everyone who was now listening in.

"It's something I should have expected, I'm a weapon that kills and destroys. I am not some hero or war god. I am just a monster, only now it's on the outside too. I should have gone and dealt with this myself." he said with such emptiness that Jane felt her heart clench.

"Kaine, You can't do this to yourself," said Ashley, her eyes filled with worry for her friend. "you can't fight this all alone. You can't take such a burden on your own shoulders. You did what you could, the entire team lived thanks to you." but Kaine simply shook his head, and suddenly a cracking noise was heard.