Black

chapter eight.

Song for this chapter:

Shatter Me by Lindsey Stirling & Lzzy Hale

Lindsey is amazing.

                         •••

"Make a wish, Raina."

Naomi cheeses at me as she holds up a camera. I smile back as Todd holds me up so that I can reach the candles.

I shut my eyes and wish.

I blow the candles out as Naomi takes the picture and everyone claps.

I wished for happiness.

                         •••

Now I can understand why he told me to stay away. Why he said he was too dark for me.

I feel like I'm dreaming. He isn't who I thought he was. But yet again, I didn't even know him. I met this guy on a roof. He could've been anyone and he's still a stranger to me.

I don't even know his name.

But I know one thing about him now.

He's...a murderer.

He is dark. Darker than me.
More black than I could ever be.

I shut my eyes for a second but open them again when my professor yells my name.

"Yes?" I sit up.

"Are you sleeping in my class?" He asks, walking up the steps to my desk. I can feel everyone's eyes burning into me.

"No, Professor." I shake my head.

He narrows his eyes at me before he asks, "Why don't you come up and show us your project?"

Shit.

"Uh, I haven't actually finished it." I say.

"A full week and you haven't finished it." He says. I hear a few people chuckle or hide their laughs with a cough.

"It's almost fini-"

"Almost." He says. He bends forward so that I can see his dark eyes piercing into mine. "Almost isn't enough. I gave you a week to do this project and you haven't even finished it. Do you think almost will get you anywhere?" He asks.

"No, sir." I stare back.

College is extremely arduous and this class drives me insane but I want it. I want this. And he's right.

Almost isn't going to get me anywhere.

He stands back up and walks down the steps.

It's been a whole week.

A whole week of torture in completing this project. I handed it in to my professor only to be let down when he criticized it.

It was rushed, I admit that. It was my responsibility to get the work done on time and I slipped. I was lucky he even gave me another week to do it.

I stare up at the ceiling as I sit on the living room sofa, my feet resting on top of the coffee table, feeling abashed.

How did I get myself here? I was so determined to get past where I was. To be a great photographer.

But I feel I have so much on my mind from my broken past and to what I have to deal with today. The fact that my past follows me around everywhere I go doesn't make it any easier.

"What are you doing?" Jackie asks as she sets the groceries on the counter.

I sigh. "Nothing much. Just drowning in my own embarrassment." I say.

"Okay? What happened?" She asks.

"School." I say.

She walks over and plops down next to me on the sofa.

"What's been going on with you lately?" She asks. "You know I hate seeing you like this."

I shut my eyes and take a deep breath.

"Jackie, I'm always like this. I'm never going to change. I'm never going to be happy." I sit up and stand.

"Don't say that." She says as I walk out of the living area. "You'll find happiness."

"No I won't." I raise my voice and regret it as I watch sadness spread over her face. "I will never be happy and it's because of him."

I can't stop myself now. I think I was waiting for this. I think everyone who knows me was waiting for me to explode. "He took that happiness away from me, thinking it was best for me. You think I like being this way?" I continue. "I don't. I wish I can be someone else for a change. I wish I had a different life but wishes like that don't come true. I have to live this life. I have to live like this everyday for the rest of my fucked up life. I wish he would've just crashed the car with me in it." I feel my face burning up as I snatch my jacket off of the hanger in the closet near the front door and open it.

"Raina." I hear Jackie say before I slam the door in her face, rushing out of the apartment building.

{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}