Black

chapter twenty four.

I pull away from him and keep my eyes off of his. I press my hand against his chest before I leave the room.

"Raina." He calls but I hurry down a set of stairs and leave the house. I look around, not knowing exactly where I am but I take a right and just walk down the sidewalk.

It was him on the phone when I was in the van.
He called me.

"Raina." I hear him again and I can hear his running footsteps. I stop when he's in front of me.

"I can't." I speak first.

"Can't what?" He asks.

"I can't...keep doing whatever this is." I wave my hand around. "I was just kidnapped because you decided to stop for me. I don't want to be in the way anymore."

"What are you saying, Raina?" He asks.

"I'm saying that you should do what you want and that you're right. We can't be together." I breathe the words before I start walking again.
I realize now that I don't really know Harry. I only know who I want him to be and that isn't good for any relationship.

"If I do stop..." He says, stopping me in my tracks again. "Is there a chance?"

I blink down to the ground before I speak my answer.
I want to know him.

"That's up to you." I say before I continue to walk.

I end up calling Jackie to pick me up when I figure out where I am.
I explain everything to her, leaving out the part about being kidnapped but telling her about Harry's job.

She seems a bit shocked at first but then says she had a feeling when she met him the first time.

We get to the apartment and Fredrick and Naomi are on the sofa, laughing.

"Raina, are you alright?" Naomi asks and I nod before I head straight to the bathroom. I run the bath until it's full, stripping my clothes and sit, bringing my knees up and leaning my head on them.

My mind races with interlaced thoughts.
I basically told Harry it was up to him if he wanted to be with me.

I hadn't realized how dark he really was until I was sitting in that chair, tied up and being in that situation was because of him.

And I put myself in that position.
I'm the one who allowed all of it to happen...so I can't blame him.

I can't.

He's the one who wanted to stop. He confronted his boss.

But can I really live with him doing this?
Can I still love him the same?
I mean I've been loving him since we first met but it somehow seems different.

A knock on the bathroom door, spills my jumbled thoughts and makes them even more scattered.

"I'm fine, Jackie." I say.

"You're not." She says and I sigh. "Can I come in?"

I don't have to answer as she opens the door and shuts it, a surge of cold air floats in and makes me shiver.

"Please don't try to make me feel better." I say.

"I won't but I do want to say something." She says through the curtain that hangs between us. "Remember that day we met? You kept looking over at me and when I looked at you, you would look away. You looked so sad and I didn't know why. Not until freshman year of high school." She speaks softly.
"I couldn't believe you went through that. After you told me, I was so happy you found Naomi and Todd."