Black

chapter ten.

Song for this chapter:
This Is What It Feels Like by Banks

"Honestly, I was afraid after the first shot. We were in the middle of a deal and I thought that night I would've been caught because of someone else's job. His stupidity could've gotten all of us life in prison." I sit across from Harry in his kitchen as he explains what happened last weekend.

"How long have you been doing this?" I ask.

"About five years." He says.

I shake my head at him as I play with the leftover melted ice cream in my bowl.

"What about you?" He asks.

"What about me?" I ask and he chuckles.

"When I met you on the roof, you looked..." He trails off.

"Disturbed, troubled, alone, confused." I say and he nods. "I was...am in a very confused place in my life."

"And why's that?" He asks.

I gulp, all of the things that didn't matter in that moment come back.

I almost killed myself today.

"I'm living a life I don't want to live." I say quietly, feeling the tears in my eyes again but I hold them back. I'm not the type of girl to cry in front of people. I always find a way to hide it. I blink down at my hands and shake my head.

"I know you saw that cab." He says quietly.

I shake my head again.

"Just like you, I didn't grow up in ways the other kids did." I breathe a laugh as a tear slips down my face. "I can't stop thinking about it. It's just something that comes to mind every second of everyday and I can't stop it. It's just...there. All of the time." I wipe my cheek with the back of my hand and laugh at myself. I probably look crazy but I can't help it.

The question from earlier today comes to mind again.

How did I get here?

"I'm sorry." I say.

"Don't apologize." He says. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I look at him again, those green eyes making me feel something. This guy, whom I've only meet a couple weeks ago, wants to hear my story.

"Not really." I say. "I just wish I didn't have to think about it anymore."

It's quiet again as we stare at each other. He narrows his eyes at me and I narrow mine back.

"Is this a staring contest?" He asks and I laugh, making him smile.

"Come on." He stands and I frown.

"What?"

"Come on. I want to take you somewhere." He says.

"Like this?" I ask.

"We aren't leaving the apartment." He says. I stand and follow him to the bathroom. There's a hatch in the middle of the bathroom on the ceiling. I look to him as he unlocks it and pushes it up. Rain pours in and I jump back as the water splashes everywhere.

"What are you doing?" I ask but I can't help the growing smile on my lips.

I squeal as he lifts me up and tells me to grab onto the roof as he pushes me up. I'm immediately soaked and laughing as he climbs up after me.

The roof.

He shuts the hatch after stepping up, his curly hair dripping as he's immediately soaked as well.