KISS THE RING ☆ Taylor Hawkins

11. Don't go away mad (just go away)

Nashville, 1990.

Diane had known for days that something was going to happen, anything. She had the impression it was going to happen soon, but she didn't know what, whether something positive or not. Mick waved his hand in front of her face, smiling soon after. "Are you high?" He asked laughing and then looked at her with an expression almost reproachful, since he didn't receive an immediate response from the redhead. "What? No Mick, fuck, I've been clean for three weeks now." He smiled back at her, shifting his gaze from an empty spot behind his friend to her eyes. "Come on, how do you feel?" The guitarist tilted his head slightly forward, bringing the glass of whiskey to his lips for a sip. "Very well, still no trace of nausea or anything like that. I miss alcohol though." She pushed out her bottom lip, making Mick laugh again. "You have to make this sacrifice... but are you sure you don't want to go back to Los Angeles?" - "I'll think about it."

While the boys performed that evening, she stayed in the room. Luckily they had managed to find a chorister to replace her and her pregnancy hadn't caused too much trouble. It was 4 in the morning when she heard a thud that made her jump off the bed and, placing a hand on her lower abdomen, she instantly sat up. The lights were still off, the only glimpse that could be seen came from the corridor on the sixth floor: in front of the entrance to their suite the silhouette of the drummer appeared, with both hands placed on either side of the door while it seemed he was trying to take breath."Tommy, I got scared..." she whispered complaining, receiving only silence as an answer. He, crawling his feet on the carpet, began to sow his clothes all over the room, stripping almost completely before throwing himself into bed next to his partner. "Tommy?" She stroked his hair before her nostrils were filled with a strong sweet scent that made her turn up her nose. "What the fuck?" She claimed as she got out of bed and headed for the light switch, lighting up the whole room within seconds. He rolled over onto his back with an expression annoyed by the sudden light on his face. "What's your problem?" He asked the girl while she continued to look at him with a look between thrill and disgust. She took a good look at her boyfriend's body: on his neck, belly and face he was full of lipstick, lips more bigger than hers. The tears didn't take long to rise in the eyes of the redhead who threw him the newspapers that were on the table behind her. "What the fuck do these mean?" She pointed to the offending areas, pushing him with her index finger. "She was just a groupie who tried to... nothing happened Diane." He tried to justify himself, having time to finish the sentence before his partner threw a loud slap in the face. The drummer chuckled as he started to rub his jaw. She, still stunned by her behavior, overtook him with her body, continuing to hit him on the chest and in his face, until he reversed their positions and ended up on top of her, blocking her with a knee on her belly and a hand on her neck. "You're just crazy. Nothing happened, Nikki took her." He whispered two inches from the redhead's lips who, looking at him out of the corner of her eyes, let her tears get the better of her dry cheeks. "You're hurting me." For the millionth time. With her free hand she tried to push away his knee as it pressed more and more against her belly. "I don't understand how you can't trust me." Is it because all the evidence says otherwise? "You make living with you very difficult for me, my love." He then added he and she couldn't help but let out a groan of pain, continuing to cry in the grip of who must have been her best friend, her lover and protector. "Okay Tommy, I'm sorry. I believe you, but let me go, please..." That boy was just putting her pregnancy at risk. Just then, on the spot, she decided what she would do in the next months: she would leave the group, she would leave Tommy and return to LA. Joan and Pat would accept her anyway, she knew it, they would even help her raise her child. She decided also that the child would have taken her surname and wouldn't have to have anything to do with his real father, maybe Diane would have even hidden who he was from him, for his sake. These thoughts were interrupted by the umpteenth pang in her lower abdomen, pang that made her cry and scream further. The drummer then looked at her, he seemed too scared as he had been a few times in his life and, moving away from her, slowly backing away, leaned against the wall in front of their bed. "Tommy..." she gasped, hugging her arms to her stomach. "Fuck ... are you bleeding?"

A week later

"Miss Larkin, there are visits for you. Is that okay?" Diane nodded slowly, she didn't want to move too much because the knowledge of being tied to machinery and infusions made her sick. "You can come in." The nurse whispered behind the door, leaving space for Pat and Joan to enter the room. They both looked at her with a look of understanding, they seemed almost relieved to see her awake and conscious. "My family." She whispered before moving her hand slightly and placing it on the bar next to the bed, waiting for Pat to take it to kiss her fingers gently. "I feared the worst, stupid." Joan said approaching her sister to be able to print a kiss on her forehead. "I'm sorry honey." Pat added leaning on her friend's bed with his elbows, without invading her space too much. She looked at him with shining eyes, letting herself go in the fifth cry of the day. "I really wanted to raise this baby with all the good intentions in the world." She whispered looking at one and then the other. "Honey, you're still very young. There will be other opportunities, believe me." Joan whispered before crouching on her sister's shoulder who suddenly raised her arm towards the brunette to caress her face. "Don't get too tired, honey." - "Fuck you Pat, I hope you guys came to get me out of here." She wiped her tears with her free hand, observing her friend's fake-thrilled gaze which turned into a broad smile. "Let's go back to Los Angeles, D."