KISS THE RING ☆ Taylor Hawkins

22. Erase/Rewind

Los Angeles, December 27, 1997.

Joan continued to tap her foot undaunted on the ground as Pat shook her hand and occasionally glared at the guitarist who, sidelined, avoided any contact with them. Taylor stared at the redhead through the slits in the curtains in front of the room's glass, placing his hand on the glass trying to hold back the tears. "Where's she?" Suddenly Dave screamed as he stormed out of the elevator and, still with the suitcases in his hands, drew the attention of those present to him. "I swear this time I'm going to kill you, Jeffrey." He pointed his index finger and walked towards the guitarist who, rising from his chair, slowly backed away while Pat went in the middle before the two could reach eachother. "David, please." Joan looked at him reproachfully before returning with her eyes down on her hands. The Garbage boys had just left after spending the previous two days looking after the girl, before everyone else gathered in Encino. "Why didn't you call me earlier?" The frontman asked, observing those present with tears in his eyes. "Taylor?" He then turned to the blond who continued to stay with his back to the others, alternating his gaze between Diane lying on the bed and the monitor that showed the stability of the situation. Dave approaches his friend, hugging him from behind and resting his head on his shoulder, closing his eyes to let go of a silent cry.

Lafayette, November 1993.

"Happy Thanksgiving, assholes!" Axl yelled before bringing the bottle to his lips, making those present at the table laugh as they raised their glasses to toast with their neighbors. That year the redhead decided to organize a big party also in honor of the end of the tour that kept them busy for more than two years. Everyone was there, even some of the relatives of the other members of the band, like Duff's grandmother who immediately took a liking to everyone, especially Saul, Axl no, he swears too much. "Happy Thanksgiving, honey." Diane brought the rim of the glass to her mouth, letting her boyfriend kiss her cheek and temple. "Do you wanna come with me?" He asked shortly after in her ear, showing a white envelope under the table. She nodded with a broad smile on her face, letting the guitarist carry her into the bathroom closest to the living room. "Have you already took something?" The redhead shook her head before leaning her back against the cold bathroom tiles. "Good." He began to lay the lines on the edge of the sink under the watchful eyes of the redhead who, bending like him, rested her chin on his arm and, making the guitarist turn towards her, both burst out laughing before exchanging a quick kiss on the lips. The girl started everything, making a mock bow to the dark-haired man who gave her the way, and she sniffed two of the four lines with her nose. She quickly put a hand on her nose, squeezing her nostrils while trying not to cough. "Yea, I know... it's good." Izzy, crouched on the sink again, stared at her for a few seconds before snorting the remaining strips in a few seconds. The redhead, meanwhile, felt the air fail in her chest and, with the strength she had left, she tried to cling to whatever happened to her hands before collapsing on the cold floor under the incredulous eyes of the boy who, leaning just in time, kept her from banging her head on the ground. The dark-haired man started yelling everyone's names, trying to wake up Diane with light slaps on her cheeks. "Honey, Diane. Please answer me." Duff and Axl found their guitarist crouched over the girl and, preparing to pull her over her, they ran into the car to take her to the nearest emergency room.

"Wasn't the first time enough for you?" Dave asked, this time calmer than before, turning to Izzy but not paying him a look as he continued to hold onto the drummer's shoulder. "David, it wasn't his fault." Joan got in the way once again, trying to avoid any kind of fight between the two. "How should I have foreseen such a thing?" Asked Izzy in a faint voice before bringing a cigarette to his lips, preparing to light it shortly afterwards. "Until the night before she swore to me that she didn't want to touch it anymore... I don't know what happened." Taylor clenched his hidden fists in his arms, turning to look at the guitarist with a hurt expression. "I was the moron who had her detoxified. Me." He brought the index finger to his chest, sobbing immediately afterwards. "Then she comes home, comes back to you and see what happened." - "I'm sorry Taylor, but I really don't understand how this could have happened because of me." Joan threw her head back, leaning it against the sad yellow corridor wall, sighing heavily. "Really, Izzy?" - "Really, Taylor. Thanks to your detoxification now she was running with methadone in her bag, thanks Taylor!" The guitarist began clapping his hands ironically as he continued to hold the cigarette between his lips and half-closed eyes. "Pat, if you don't throw them out, I'll do it." Joan whispered to his friend sitting next to her who started to get up but was stopped by the arrival of a nurse. "I'm sorry, but you can't smoke here." Said the man turning to Izzy who, nodding, got up without making a fuss and headed for the fire escape, ending the discussion with the drummer there. "Taylor, don't pay attention to him, please..." Joan turned to the drummer who nodded looking into her tired eyes before she ran a hand over her face, not caring about the now all ruined makeup. "Joanie, if you want we can take turns. Go home to rest, you can't continue sleeping in a chair." Pat took her hand and made her friend look into his eyes. "I can stay." Volunteered the blond, making the guitarist smile for the first time in days. "You're so sweet Taylor, but I'd rather stay with my sister." He nods before turning to look at Dave for help. "Listen, Joan... how about Taylor stays for tonight, so we can go back to Encino and rest, then we'll be back here in the morning. What do you think?"-"Yea, okay... but don't ever talk to me as if I were a child again, David."

Everything went as planned by the Foos about the shifts, but Taylor decided to stay as many nights as possible, leaving the others the opportunity to rest better at home. Although there was some hatred with the former Guns guitarist, they let him visit the girl almost daily, until he limited himself only and exclusively to phone calls. In all that mess, the drummer also did his duties and warned their closest friends about the incident, the same ones who showed up almost immediately at the hospital, such as Claudia, Alanis, Courtney and Melissa. The L7 bassist was the one who stationed the most in that corridor with Pat, to whom she told about the redhead's relationship with that type of drugs, almost feeling guilty of her, she was an accomplice of her in times much more suspicious than those recent.

On the night of December 31st, shortly after midnight, when the ward had emptied completely and only Taylor and Diane were left in the room, he took the chair and, as he had done for 2 weeks now, sat down next to to her bed. Watching the helpless girl's body on those white sheets, he let himself go into a silent cry as he gently squeezed the fingers of her right hand. "Diane, please come back to me." He just whispered as his copious tears began to stream down his face. "I miss you, Cherry. I miss your voice, your caresses..." He sobbed again as he got up from his chair to bring his free hand to the girl's face, caressing her softly. "Don't do this to me, Diane... we still have so many things to do together." Shortly after he sat on the bed and then lay down next to her and, as space allowed, he crouched with his face in the hollow of the girl's neck, without letting go of her hand and intertwining her fingers to his own. "When you decide to wake up, I'll be here next to you." He leaned slightly towards her and left a kiss on her neck that made her make a slight movement, almost imperceptible. The blond widened his eyes as soon as he felt the girl's hand squeeze his fingers weakly. "Diane?" He pulled away from the girl's body, lifting his head so that he could see her face. He noticed two fresh tears streaming down her white, almost lifeless cheeks, where her brownish freckles stood out. The drummer could have sworn he had missed a few beats when he saw her slowly open her eyes which immediately rested on him. Tired, exhausted, but still the eyes he had fallen in love with only a few years earlier. Taylor began to smile again with tears in his eyes before holding the girl in her arms, still paying attention to the wires that kept her attached to the machinery. "The... Taylor" With his right hand he went to caress her face, feeling after a few seconds the cold girl's one on his wrist while on the other cheek he begins leaving small and delicate kisses. "You don't have to tire yourself out." He whispered, closing his eyes and with his heartbeat beyond the norm, which the girl also perceived and made her smile slightly "The beard..." She then said after a few minutes of silence, leaving the drummer with a confused expression. "The beard?" He put a hand to his face, observing the girl who imitated him with slow movements, before smiling at him again and closing her eyes with a slight nod of her head. "It tickles." She then added, drawing the syllables with her lips half closed. The blonde just chuckled, bringing the hands to his face again to wipe away the tears that were now pouring copiously. "I'll cut it when we get out of here, I promise you." They stayed like that for a period of time that seemed endless, with the blond whispering sweet words into her ear while she just listened to him and, at most, respond with nods of her head or with her fingers. "Don't ever prank me like that again." He announced when, in the meantime he gently played with the fingers of the redhead who shook her head slightly, closing her eyes again and frowning before letting go of yet another cry that Taylor prepared to dab, wiping her tears with his free hand and placing his lips on her temple. "I've missed you so much, Cherry." He whispered in her ear after a couple of minutes, not receiving any response from the girl who, a few seconds earlier, had rested her head against his, falling asleep again in the arms of the blond. "Everything's gonna be fine."