KISS THE RING ☆ Taylor Hawkins

18. Slow down, you crazy child.

Vienna, 1997.

The funniest thing, to make an antiphrase, about that European tour is, despite being inside one of the most important periods of her life, Diane didn't immediately realize it. And, of course, this lack of tact with reality is not only given by the euphoria of the drugs she was stuffed with all the time, the redhead really felt that she was living her life as an out-of-body experience: thanks to the methadone provided by the drummer, she was able to halve her doses, starting to decrease them more and more until she could be without it for a couple of days. The concerts were going fairly well, not the slightest mistake that could make the groups or the fans turn up their noses, but above all, this strange experiment created by Dave, who went on stage for a jam almost at every concert, was very well seen by the public. Reluctantly, however, after the Bizarre Fest, the two groups had to take a different path from the L7, which headed home to return to the studio. Given this awareness of being "detached" from her body it was now inherent in Diane, on a hot afternoon in late August, while she was wandering with Nate in search of any kind of refreshment in the Austrian capital, they found themselves in a small souvenir shop where, among the various Augarten porcelains, Sissi's Stars and the original Viennese snowballs, they found two disposable Kodak Fun, pocket cameras with 39 poses. The bassist had suggested to the redhead to take the waterproof ones, just to be safer. "Nate, we won't see the sea for quite some time yet." Diane said while she was still peering at the yellow and red box she held in her hands. "It's not the water that worries me." He announced shaking his head, hinting an amused smile that she returned immediately, thinking back to the party a few nights before, before the girls returned to America, where they decided they must end the evening with a shower made of Jack Daniel's. "You're right, maybe it's better to take two waterproof ones too." He didn't get it repeated twice and got ready to take two yellow and blue packs with a rather satisfied smile on his lips. They both looked like children in a candy store, already imagining what would come out of those rolls when they got home. A way to keep in touch with the world around me. She thought, feeling more and more some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. Among all these thoughts, she had not yet understood how to free herself from this kind of triangulation of which she was the author. She really wanted things with Izzy to go well, at least this second time, but at the same time she couldn't ignore what she was starting to feel for the drummer who, with his advances and wanting to take care of her, didn't improve the situation minimally.

Diane felt the need to talk to someone, but none of those present could really help her. If only Pat and Dave had found out about the crap circulating in her blood they would have freaked out, that's for sure. Claudia was who knows how many kilometers away, plus time zone. As much as she trusted her groupmates, she knew that sooner or later they would tell Butch, who would soon be joining Pat and Dave, so no. Nate? Nate! The bass player was the only one who could give her advice without feeling caught up in the whole situation, or so she thought. "Are you detoxing from what?" As soon as the redhead got right to her point, the redhead showed her a stunned, almost frightened expression. "Are you for real?" She nodded, keeping her gaze down. The shame she felt whenever her addiction was mentioned was immense. Nate soon learned that everyone else didn't know anything, all except Taylor and Claudia, of course. "Nate, please don't mention it to anyone." He took her hand between his, drawing her attention to him and, squeezing it lightly, he showed her a reassuring smile. "You don't have to worry. But really, I don't know what to advise you regarding... the other situation." His smile turned into an unsure grimace. "Though the answer seems pretty obvious to me, Diane." He was right. On one side there was a person who, even if unknowingly, was leading her into a black hole, with no way out, while on the other side there was a person who held out his hand to her, trying to pull her to himself with all the strength he possessed to get her out of that place. "We love you Diane and, believe me, I don't want to accuse the other side of not caring about you, but well..." The bassist shrugged before he found himself with her arms wrapped around his neck, which caused him to laugh as he with his hand patted her lightly on the back. "Thanks Nate, I really needed to let it out."-"Hey, we're family. It's the least I can do."