Unfaithful

Chapter 23: Noah

Jacquie laughs and I laugh along with her. I'm not entirely sure what we're laughing at since I wasn't really listening but it doesn't really matter. I notice myself doing that more and more now, not paying as much attention to Jacquie as I should. She's great and I really like; there's just something off. I think it's maybe the secrecy, the fact we're going behind Richelle's back is making everything go sour. Jacquie keeps pushing me to end things with Richelle but I can't bring myself to. I know it'll it hurt her and as hypocritical as it is, I don't want her to be hurt.

Jacquie's eyes harden slightly, and I turn to see what she's looking at. Richelle walks in to Neutral Grounds with Piper and I sigh. Recently it seems like Jacquie is jealous and I sort of understand and it's complicated. Besides, it's not as if Richelle doesn't have a right to talk to me, she is still my girlfriend, technically. Richelle catches my eye and smiles slightly. I return her smile and ignore Piper's glare, turning back around to face Jacquie. Jacquie opens her mouth, clearly somethings on her mind, and I take a sip of coffee. "Break up with Richelle" she says. I splutter in shock, and swallow the coffee quickly, burning my throat. "What?" I rasp. "Yeah. You heard me." She doesn't look impressed. "End things with Richelle, or we're over. I'm done being your secret. Either we're official or we're not together." I sigh. "Jacquie.." "No buts" she says. "Now or never." She gets up and leaves, smiling at Piper and Richelle as she does.

Craning my neck, I see Richelle say something to Piper. Piper rolls her eyes and leaves as Richelle comes and takes Jacquie's vacated seat. "Hey" she says softly. "Hey" I say. She traces patterns on her cup nervously and I wonder what she's going to say. We sit there in silence for about five minutes and I don't want to break it because for some reason, I can't bring myself to end things. Finally, she speaks. "I know you're cheating on me" she whispers. "Richie, I'm not, I promise..." I start, automatically defending myself. "Don't, Noah" she cuts me off. "Don't deny it. And don't call me that, after everything. Just listen." I nod my assent. I meet her eyes and am surprised by the lack of warmth in them. She takes a deep breath, steadying herself. "I know you and Jacquie are together. Everyone does. And I ignored all the red flags, and the clues, and laughed when my friends said it, and I let you convince me that you loved me. That I was the only one you loved. And now I feel stupid, but I'm also, well not glad but sort of relieved. Because I've spent the last year of my life being your girlfriend and now I'm going to be me and you can do whatever you want, I don't care. I don't love you anymore, the same way you don't love me." She stares at me, clearly finished. Her speech betrayed no emotion but I can tell she's hurt. I need to say something. "Ok." Not that. She stares at me for another couple of seconds, than laughs humourlessly, stands up and leaves. I guess we really are over. I should apologise but I don't know, the words won't come.

I sit there for another ten minutes, finishing my coffee, then throw it in the bin and go up to rehearsals. Everyone looks at me when I go in and I know they all know. Richelle's eyes are resolutely dry but I see Piper squeeze her arm anyway, and Lola glances at her concernedly. Ozzy glares at me murderously as I walk over to Jacquie. I kiss her cheek and instantly regret it but to be honest, I'm barely registering what's happening right now, I'm sort of just on autopilot. Jacquie smiles up at me. "Thanks, babe" she murmurs softly, squeezing my hand as Emily and West come out of their office. Both toss me a disgusted glance before proceeding with announcements. It's only when we're getting ready to start dancing that I realise I spent the whole time staring not at Jacquie but at Richelle.