Unfaithful

Chapter 24: Richelle

I'm sitting at home in bed, wearing my favourite pyjamas and binge watching friends for the fifth time this year. Honestly, I sort of just need time to process things. I don't really know what to do or think or say - even though I saw 'noacquie' (as Jacquie has taken to calling them on Instagram) coming, it still feels sudden and out of the blue. But also more comfortable. For the first time in a while, I feel sort of free. Noah was a great boyfriend; well, until he cheated. But I was always his girlfriend. We always did what he wanted to do and hung out with his friends. And I was ok with that because him happy made me happy. But I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm a completely different person than I was when me and Noah first started dating, and not in a good way.

I don't understand how I let him do that. How I let him act as if I would always be there, no matter what. The old Richelle would not have been such a pushover. The old Richelle would not have stood by passive and semi-oblivious while her boyfriend cheated on her. I guess I started changing after I hung out at Lola's house that night after my supposed dance captain celebration party, but was actually an excuse for Jacquie and Noah to flirt and hang out. Well, I didn't change really, but it was when I finally realised that there was problems in my relationship with Noah. I didn't do anything about it then, but I have now. Actually, it was Piper who pushed me to do something about it. She was telling me about everything that she went through last year with the whole Alfie-Riley-James drama, and it was something she said about James being oblivious to the warning signs that got to me. Like obviously it wasn't his fault he got cheated on, and he was away in London but Piper was just talking about how maybe he should have noticed Riley was acting weird, and that Alfie was into her. And that's what made me realise Noah was cheating. I kind of suddenly saw all the red flags I had missed and when I saw him just sitting with Jacquie at Neutral Grounds, I decided to just go for it. Rip the plaster off. And I do feel relieved. And sort of excited, I guess. I genuinely don't know who I am anymore, but I do know I can be someone without Noah. I do love him, obviously. That won't vanish overnight. And I am hurt and upset. But not angry. He did a number of awful things, but maybe he did me a favour. If he had continued being a good, faithful boyfriend, I probably would have stayed with him forever. I'm glad that's not going to happen anymore.