Waiting for a Yes [Modern!Neji x Reader]

PART 35

In this moment, [Name] remembers how far back her and Tenten's friendship goes. She remembers appearing on the first day, awkward and weird. She remembers how easily Tenten clung to her and how desperately she refused the kind sentiments, wishing not to get attached to anyone. For who knows when she'll up and leave, whisking away from all her friends like her last school. Reminded by her parents, she wasn't at school to make friends but to learn. Those words carried on her shoulders like a rock burden which Tenten pushed off like a mighty warrior, rescuing her from them. Rescuing her from the crushing feeling of loneliness in her glass heart that had too many cracks to repair.

So why is it now that Tenten gazes at her with such disdain and heartbreak, and those cracks appear all over again. There's a distance between them, and she can't reach out to hold her hand anymore.

"Tenten, what are you saying?" [Name] finally speaks, stuffing all her emotions into her jarred heart, essentially closing off any nostalgic emotions that feel like springing forth.

"Neji...he just...seems to like you more than me." Tenten gazes down at her hands that fiddle with her uniform.

[Name] opens her mouth and then closes it. She remembers how Neji confessed to having cold feet, his love for Tenten freezing over completely. She remembers it clearly. The hard part? Telling this to her best friend. How can she even say it?

So sorry, Tenten, but Neji doesn't like you. Not like that anymore. It was just a small crush that exploded into a mess of a relationship. So, sorry. 

Like how bitchy does that sound? Like throwing gasoline on a raging fire!

Tenten scoffs, tears lining her eyes. "I knew it. You two are like... a thing."

"Excuse me?" [Name] furrows her brow, expressing concern more than anger. "You're accusing me of cheating on Gaara and crossing you! What kind of person do you take me for?"

"Not the boyfriend-stealing kind."

It takes all of [Name's] might to stuff her feelings down.

"Let's just," [Name] breathes, "Calm down for a second. Rewind. So, you think Neji doesn't like you?"

Tenten closes her eyes. "Not as much as you, clearly." A tear rolls down her cheek, and she swiftly wipes it away. "He seems to not get enough of you!"

"Look, I don't think this is a conversation to have with me," [Name] says. She bites her lip. "I'm committed too. I have Gaara, and as much as he's getting on my last nerve, I would never think of cheating on him and with Neji, of all people. Maybe go ask him how he feels, or like, I don't know, set some boundaries? Break up with him if you think he's cheating on you."

Tenten clenches her jaw. "No. You're right. You're right. Neji is the one not showing me enough affection. I should talk to him."

"Call him right now. Ask him how he feels."

Tenten hesitates. She doesn't want to call him. She knows how he feels. It's instinct. He's tired of her and her affection. He's tired of the kisses she gives and the cutesy nicknames. Tired of the hugs and the late-night talks. He's more comfortable around [Name] than herself.

"I'll ask him when he comes and takes me home."

...

It's dark. The street lights pass over Neji's car as he drives Tenten back home. It's silent in the car. Neji tried turning on the radio, but Tenten just turned it back off after one too many commercials. Old-fashioned cars don't have aux.

"Neji," Tenten begins, watching the trees and houses skim by. "How do you feel about [Name]?"

Neji focuses on the road, barely paying attention to her. "Uh. I don't know. She's a great friend."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Tenten tugs on the seatbelt. The tensions are high. "Do you want to be with her?"

Neji slams on his breaks unnecessarily hard. Both lurch forward in their seats. The red light illuminates their faces as they turn to one another. "What?"

"Do you want to be with [Name]?"

Neji scoffs, nervousness crawling up his spine. "Where the hell is this coming from, Tenten? I lo... I lov-- hm."

Tenten holds back tears. "See. You can't even say it!"

The light turns green. He presses the gas. He can't look at her any longer. He can't apologize, either. The scenery blurs around him; he tries not to listen to her, for he's easily cracking at her questions.

"You like her, though. Right?" Tenten cries, the tears leaking out silently. She uses her sleeves to wipe up any excess. "I bet seeing her with Gaara makes you sick. God! You never liked me, is that it?"

Neji bites his lip. "I don't want to tell you the truth, but abstaining from it will hurt you even more."

"Just..." Tenten scrubs her eyes with her palms. She knows the truth partially. She knows he doesn't remotely like her. She's felt it for a long time. "You idiot. Just tell me."

Neji shifts uncomfortably as he eases into the driveway of her house. He turns off his car and relaxes. "Tenten, what I'm about to say might---"

"Just say it!"

Neji's face turns serious, and although he hesitates, he doesn't stutter. "I have always loved [Name]. Since the first day she came to Konoha," he confesses. "I've had this stupid crush forever, so when Hinata asked who I liked, I couldn't just outwardly say it! So, I said your name. You're a close friend, and I trusted you. I thought maybe I could tell you the truth but... you looked so excited to be my girlfriend that I thought I'd let you live out the fantasy. The pressure was so much. You were so happy." He presses his palm to his forehead, trying to ease the stress out of his brain.  "Also, how was I supposed to know she was going to go blab to you?! It was supposed to be a secret until I hatched a plan to actually get [Name's] attention! I'm sorry, Tenten, but it was never going to be you. You're a good friend, but I don't love you like I love [Name]. I'm sorry."

Tenten clenches her teeth. There are so many emotions swirling around in her head. Her chest tightens. Her hands shake. She tries not to look at him, for it hurts too much. She thought maybe she'd experience love for the first time like everyone else. Maybe not high school sweethearts type of love, but something that was genuine. Sure, it could've turned cold down the line, perhaps last one year into college before they went separate ways, but she never thought the love she fostered for this relationship would turn out to be a lie.

Tenten opens the car door. "So, it's over?"

"Yeah, I guess," Neji says solemnly. "I'm sorry."

Tenten exits the car, shutting the door rather calmly. Neji expected more of a reaction toward this entire situation. Her face is pained, but her movements are calm.

He rolls down his driver's window as she passes through the grass to the front door. 

"Tenten, seriously, I'm sorry!"

She doesn't even look back. 

...

Neji feels like an asshole. A complete douchebag.

He lays flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling. All the lights in his room are off. Only the glow on his phone reaches his face. He's been staring at this text from Tenten for several hours, feeling even worse every time he reads it.

You shouldn't apologize for loving someone.

It's not how she usually texts. There are no emojis, no incorrect spellings, proper punctuation, and no shorthand. She's serious. She... supports him.

He remembers all the times he's apologized for not loving her and loving someone else. He wants to send another apology. He wants to make amends with her. 

He reads it again:

You shouldn't apologize for loving someone else.

Neji sighs. 

He opens up a new message for [Name].

...

A/N: Grammarly changed the way they do edits, so now everything is bad and I'm frustrated >:[