Henchman (JOKER X READER) ✅

chapter 33: van criss

still, all my life, i got money and power, and you gotta live with the bad blood now

—-

"Goddamn, is it raining out there?" Panda complained, pulling off his mask for a second to give you an incredulous glare. "Didn't you say it'd be later tonight?"

You shrugged, glancing out the window at the downpour outside. "Hey, man, you know what I always say. You can't trust meteorologists."

He shot you a look. "You don't say that."

"I just did. Look, would you just get out there? We've got a science doctor to threaten."

"Alright, alright."

The next step in Joker's plan was to find some guy- the (apparently) notable Dr. Van Criss. According to Jonny's intel, he was the guy who'd helped create the very reason you wouldn't be able to just break Harley out and call it a night. He created the nanite bomb, an explosive about as big as a grain of rice but with all the power of a live grenade. Harley probably had one in her neck by now, and if she escaped, the people at Belle Reve would blow her half to hell.

The plan was simple- Sharkey and Fox were with Van Criss's wife, giving Van Criss some incentive to play nice. Joker wanted to drag him along to defuse Harley's bomb when you go to break her out, assuming he didn't get himself killed before then. It was always a possibility- fear makes people stupid, especially when Joker got involved.

Once everyone was in the van, Jonny letting you drive for once, you made your way to the lab Van Criss has got named after him. It was still pouring. Gotham was just one hell of a city.

You pulled up to the security booth right outside the laboratory. Rolling down the window, you said to the guy in the booth, "Hey, I got a delivery. A gift basket for Dr. Van Criss?"

He glanced down at a sheet of paper on a clipboard. "You're not on the access list. I can't let you in. Sorry."

You shrugged. "Hey, cool if I leave it with you? I'm way behind today."

"Sure."

"Thanks," you said, flashing a grin. "You're a good man." Behind you, Panda pressed a button on his phone, and the basket blew up, taking the guard out with it.

Joker kicked open the doors in the back of the van, and then it really started ramping up. You grabbed your gun and joined Jonny and Panda in taking out literally anyone who wasn't Van Criss on your way into the lab.

When you got to Van Criss's part of the lab, you saw him half-cowering in a tiny little room made of glass.

"That shit's gotta be bulletproof, or he'd be out of there by now," you said.

Jonny smirked. "Time to test that." He pulled out his huge machine gun and fired a round or two into the glass. The bullets left dents in the glass, but no openings.

"Oh, move, you've had your fun," Joker pushed him out of the way and slaps an iPad to the glass. It showed the live video feed of Sharkey and Fox with Van Criss's wife.

"Just please, do whatever they say," she said in a panic. "Do whatever they say. Just do it."

Van Criss, not looking away from her for a second, reaches over and pressed the button to let Joker into the room. Joker stalked in, metal teeth bright in the low light. His gaze fell on a rack of nanite guns, probably used to put those bombs in. He picked one up.

"Hm," he mused, "This looks neat." And he lunged, holding Van Criss still as he pressed the barrel of the gun to his neck and fired. Van Criss let out a strangled yell, almost collapsing.

"So that's how Joker's gonna get him to cooperate," you whispered to Jonny.

"He never has just one plan," Jonny whispered back.

"Get him out of here," Joker ordered, releasing Van Criss and letting him fall to the floor. Jonny easily lifted him and left the room, the other two guys you'd brought with you in tow. Then Joker turned to you, a bright, maniacal grin on his face. "Oh, baby, we're really in it now," he crowed, grabbing you by the back of the neck and pulling you close enough to press your foreheads together. "In and out, how easy was that?"

"Easy as hell," you smiled back. "They never even saw you coming."

"Us," he corrected. "And they won't see us coming when we break Little Miss Looney Tunes out, will they, Y/N?"

"No, sir," you said, feeling like you were on top of the world. "They don't stand a chance."

—-

edit: 5k reads??? YALL. im so grateful for all of you. thank you for sticking around and reading my book <3