De Novo

Chapter 37

Moonbyul

I'm not sure how long I must have been out of it, but the way Taeyeon reached out to get my attention tells me I was out of my senses for a while. You can't blame me. What she just said was like a bomb exploding directly in my face, killing me for a split second and shattering my hopes for Yongsun and my future. I thought my luck was already on the right track. I thought I'd finally get the happy ending I deserve, but I guess I celebrated too soon, and now my mistakes from the past are tormenting me until I no longer know what happiness is.

I was responsible for her pregnancy. Taeyeon is pregnant, and I was the one who caused it. I had no idea our carelessness would lead to this terrible incident. What have I done to deserve this shit? All I want is to be with the woman I genuinely love. Why is it so difficult to achieve?

"Please tell me you're lying. Please tell me this is a joke. Taeyeon, you can't do this to me! "

I almost beg her as I balled my fist above the table's surface. I was trembling and panting like I was out of breath. My stomach is twisting and my heart is clenching. I'm nervous, horrified, and concerned about what the future holds. Because if Taeyeon is honestly pregnant with my child, I will lose the woman I love.

I'd lose Yongsun.

"I wish I were kidding. I really hope this is a lie. But if we can go to a doctor right now and run DNA tests, I can assure you that this is your child."

If that's possible then I'll bring her to the nearest hospital to prove that child is mine. But it's still early, we need more time before I can prove that child belongs to me.

"It's impossible for you to get pregnant. We just slept for one night. One fuckin—"

"Did you pull out?"

For a split second, I was stunned as I looked at her with trembling fingers. She was right. I didn't pull out. That night, I don't have the strength to pull out. I was too weak, too tired as if I were carrying a massive bolder behind my back. I let all my load flow within her, and it was the dumbest mistake I'd ever made.

"Tell me, did you pull out?"

Taeyeon asked as I was staring at her with gritted teeth. She knows I know the answer to that question, and she's pointing it out on my damn face that it's all my fault. Indeed, I was the right one to blame.

I run my balled fist through my hair, pulling the root and bumping my forehead on the table's surface. I was so conflicted that I wished I could disappear for a moment and when I get back, everything is as smooth as yesterday, when everything is according to what I actually planned, when we were all having a good time, when Yongsun and I are sharing love in her bed... when the luck is on my side.

Things like this shouldn't happen. Why can't I have a normal life?

When I heard Taeyeon sigh, I automatically turned to face her. If I was devastated by the news, I'm sure she was as well. Now that I think about it, the sides of her eyes are getting teary. She's affected by this as much as this affects me, doesn't it?

"Do you think I'm excited about getting pregnant? I had a modeling career in the States moonbyul, but I was forced to cancel it for, what, two years? " The sadness in her voice is evident that I put my worries aside and straighten my back to focus on her.

Right. I'm not the only one who should be concerned. Taeyeon, in fact, is more affected than I am. Her modeling career is on the line, and she can't possibly attend any of them with a baby growing inside her stomach. The only thing that would affect me is my relationship with Yongsun, which will be hard for me to accept if she will decide to part ways with me.