De Novo

Chapter 17

Yongsun

I almost forgot what genuine happiness feels like after moonbyul disappeared. I mean, yes, I can say I'm happy to have my friends and family supporting me even after I betrayed eric, I was happy when luna came and filled the emptiness in my heart, I am happy and contented with the things I have.. but being with moonbyul, being with the person I fell in love with, feeling her warmth, hearing her voice, seeing her face.. it's absolutely different.

I feel so complete.

I didn't know time will come I would experience this happiness again, where I sit under this huge tree with birds chirping melodiously on the top, the wind blowing softly in my ears, and moonbyul running around the open field with the dogs, playing fetch and giggling to herself. They're at it for hours now with no one interrupting them, and as much as I want to get her attention, I can't seem to chip in. Besides, watching her sprint is enough for my heart to be filled with extreme enjoyment.

My eyes stared at the running moonbyul with one of the dogs chasing her, and all of a sudden, my mind floated to dreamland where I imagined Luna and moonbyul running towards my direction with big smiles on their faces. They are racing to see who will get over to my direction first, giggling to themselves while teasing each other about why the other one runs like a turtle. I know this is stupid, I know this is not a big deal, and I know this is a ridiculous reason to get emotional.. yet my eyes suddenly water at the thought, because I know this lovely image in my head is impossible to happen in real life.

I close my eyes, looking up at the clear sky to contain my tears from pouring uncontrollably. I shouldn't cry in this type of place, especially since the person I'm crying about is right here with me. If moonbyul knew I was this dramatic about silly things, she would definitely ask questions that I know I couldn't dare answer.

"Are you crying?"

My breakdown flipped 360 degrees, and I instantly shrugged the thought of moonbyul from my stupid mind to keep me from tearing up. I act as if I'm cleaning my face, while secretly wiping the tears on each side of my eyes. Was I that obvious from her spot that she stopped what she was doing and approached me just to ask if I was crying?

"No, this is nothing. Just a speck of dirt went inside my eyes. I'm okay."

"You don't look okay to me."

I know, but can you just ignore it?

That should be my reply but I'm just opening a path for her to ask further. The more she asks, the longer this conversation will last... and I don't want that to happen.

I opened the water bottle we bought earlier and swallowed a big gulp, ignoring moonbyul's curious eyes that were boring holes in my face. When I didn't mutter any reply, she slowly made her way to my side and slumped herself beside me. Her scent engulfed my nostrils, and boy, it took me a lot of courage to stop myself from shoving my head in the crook of her neck and sniffing all of her.

"You know, we're not that close but you can trust me as much as you trust taeyeon. You can tell me what's bothering you. I won't judge, I'll just listen." She said the moment she made herself comfortable beside me, leaning her back on the tree behind us.

I was unsettled by her presence that I slightly raised myself in panic and bolted to the opposite side to give us space. Moonbyul noticed what I did but said nothing; she simply respected my privacy and minded her own business.

"It's.. no.. really. I'm alright."

How ironic I keep saying I'm okay but my face displays I'm not. The sadness is evident in my eyes and I know that was the reason why moonbyul see through me. I stink at hiding my true emotions when it comes to her.