Thunder and Blood

37

Percy

After a nice walk around the city, I am now waiting for Blackjack on the rooftop. I am two minutes early, so I just sit on the ledge, my feet dangling over the edge. 

I am aware that there is a dead body in the alley below me. 

I don't know if it bothers me or not.

I killed that man. I slit his throat, and yet I feel nothing. I had done it to save my friends from an inevitable death, one that might be done by my hand. But I don't know if I can keep up. What Void is asking... I can't continue to kill people. Good or bad. I just can't.

The flapping of wings interrupt my thoughts. I look up to see Blackjack flying towards me. I might be mistaken, but I think I see some powdered sugar on his nose. He lands, and by the way he stays quiet, not greeting me with the normal: "What's up boss?" I know he has seem the body in the alleyway, or at least smelt the fresh blood. 

"Ready to go home?" I ask, stroking his mane. 

He doesn't answer straight away. "That man-"

I close my eyes. "I know, Blackjack. But I did what had to be done."

He bows slightly, allowing me to pull myself onto his back. "Let's go home." I whisper, and he runs towards the edge of the building, the wind catching his wings as he takes off. My gut feels hollow now, empty. All he had done was try to steal a purse. And it had cost him his life. 

I shouldn't be playing God. 

I don't get to decide who lives and dies.

~

When we get back to Half-blood Hill, most of the campers are still awake. Annabeth included. As Blackjack lands, she is waiting for me at the stables, leaning on the building with her arms crossed. And she doesn't look happy. 

"Goodmorning." I say, hopping off of Blackjack. By now, it is half past midnight, and therefor morning. But she just scowls at me as I walk up to her. "What's wrong?"

She shakes her head, staring up at me. "What are you doing, Percy?" She doesn't seem to know what to say. "I don't understand..."

"What do you mean?"

Annabeth is not one to draw things out, she will get right to the point. That is something I love about her. "You're..." she searches for the word. "You're different. Ever since I found you in that stupid town, you've been different." Her eyes dart between mine. "I don't understand. Help me understand."

I want to tell her. Gods, I do. 

But Void stops me. His control on my actions tighten.

"I can't, Annabeth." I find myself saying. I can't. 

"Why not?" She reaches out, cupping my cheek in her hand. Oh, how badly I want to lean into her touch, to hug her. Her voice is soft, her eyes hopeful. "Let me help you."

"I'm just tired." I tell her with a soft smile. "How about we go to bed? Hm?"

At first she seems skeptical, but then she relaxes. "Okay." I can tell she still has something else to say, but she shuts her mouth. I take her hand in mine, her warm palm is callused, conditioned from excessive training. It matches mine. 

We walk to my cabin, she has already showered, unlike myself.  The blood is gone from her face and hair, she's clean. And she smells good, I might add. Like lavender and honeydew. "Actually," I say, breaking the silence. Annabeth lifts her head from my shoulder. "Let's go down to the water."

Her brows knit. "But the curfew-"

"I need to wash off." I pause, giving her a small smirk. "And so do you."

She laughs, smiling. "I just did, Percy."

I smile back, reaching to tuck a strand of blond hair behind her ear, despite my skin coated with half-dried blood and grime, she doesn't move away. I let my hand rest on her cheek before running my thumb down her cheekbone, leaving a light smear behind on her smooth skin. "I know," I can feel her heartbeat quicken as my thumb reaches her bottom lip. I gently tilt her chin upwards, making her look up at me. "But this time I'm going to do it for you."