Bonded

Chapter Sixty

...

Rayne

...

I find that it is nearly impossible to rest with so much on my mind... But I am sorely aware that I need to at least try to get some kind of rest... If for nothing else than just to spare me from exhaustion later when I join Jian in his discreet dash to the kitchen this evening...

Part of me feels slightly guilty for not secreting a scroll or two back to our room with me so that I might continue to study in the daylight as it spills in through our shared window... But somehow it seems more important to pay attention to and learn from these passing moments rather than have my head down in scrollwork letting life's lessons passing me by...

Especially when the lessons seem as if they are going to demand my attention... Lest someone close to me be hurt or left hurting...

I feel as though even though I need rest... That I need to be vigilant... I need to be able to protect myself... I need to be aware enough of myself and my surroundings to be able to protect myself... And closing my eyes just does not seem conducive to that...

If anything... I find myself content to watch over Jian and make sure that his rest is left uninterrupted until he cannot sleep any longer... That way we will not be missed during dinner... And so that he might wake up after napping after the evening meal... For we can only sleep long enough for all of our peers to enter the realm of dreams... And while there is no telling how long that will take... We should still be prepared...

...

Kavya

...

"Should we really be doing this... Should we be over here, I mean..." I cannot help but be nervous over Ronin and I taking the time to get up and walk over to where we have been storing the ink meant for my hair here in the barracks... If anyone walked in on us right now... I cannot help but wonder if they would keep our secret or stay true to the King... Or if they would even know the significance yet...

It would be one thing if King Xiang had gone ahead and released an order to stay on the lookout for fire-haired individuals...

But so far... Other than what we heard while he was walking through the halls earlier... We have not heard anything.... And as far as I know... The soldiers have not yet been summoned or commanded to appear by anyone official...

Though I almost think I would feel better if we had... If only to take away the feeling of not knowing when or if it might happen... Or if in the end, King Xiang was talked out of even searching for me by his even-tempered and sad son...

It is the not knowing that bothers me the most...

...

Ronin

...

"We should try and get rid of as many of the empty bottles as we can... And I was also thinking if we stick a journal, drying salt, and a quill in here that no one would be any the wiser that the ink is being used... For what it is." I try and let my words dance around what I actually mean... But being eloquent and evasive has never been a strong suit of mine... And I am not sure it ever truly will be.

I can only be sure though, that from all the years we have been together... That my Kavya understands what I mean, and that he understands that I am only trying to protect him...

I can also trust that he knows just how panicked and worried that I am over this... And how painful the thought of losing him is...

And all over his hair...