Break The Barrier | Tommyinnit

7

I don't want the world to see me.

"How would you feel about telling the internet about us?" My eyes widen. Sweat drips down my back. I shrink away. "No." Tommy opens his mouth shocked by my cold tone. "Alright, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." My gaze softens and I snap out of my trance. "Its okay. I'd just rather not be on the internet." I place a cup of tea in front of Tommy and sit across from him. 

Tommy decided to stay at my house for breakfast after our sleepover. We had established we were in a relationship. But like always things were difficult, and like always my fight or flight instincts kicked in. Like always I ran. Flight took over. Once Tommy left I hid in my room and I cried. I know it was pathetic, but I was scared. Maybe it wouldn't of been that bad if I had only stayed in my room for an hour or two.

But I stayed in my room for two days. My phone was thrown somewhere in my living room. I just cried and cried myself to sleep and then I woke up and cried again. Letting people in scared me so bad. What if he leaves. What if he hurts me. What if it all goes wrong. What if... What if... The crying continues. You'd think by now I'd have no more tears left. A knock at my door sounds through the entire apartment.

The crying stops. The knocking gets louder. I huff getting out of bed for the first time in days. I feel weak from lack of nutrions. Still I presist, its probably just the mail man. Another knock. "I'm coming," My voice is horse and sore. I waddle over to the door. A blanket wraps around my figure, tear tracks cover my face. I use my key to unlock the door and I swing it open. Tommy stands on the other side, concerned and confused.

He looks me up and down and engulfs me in his arms. "What happened?" his voice is sweet and gentle. I mentally face palm, how could I ever believe he could hurt me. "Nothing, I'm all good." I step away from him and motion for him to come in. "Sit down," I offer, closing the front door and taking a seat at my dining table. He sits across from me just as we had been doing the last time I saw him.

His elbows meet the hard texture of the wooden table. "What happened?" He asks again, yet this time sterner. "I'm scared." I look him in his eyes and he looks right back. His head tilts and his brows furrow. He's like a puppy. "I don't want the world to see me." he sighs, he understands what I'm trying to say. "People can be scary, people can be mean." Tommy takes my hands in his. 

"Then we don't have to tell them." I squeeze Tommy's hands with all the strength I could muster. "You're a person Tommy, and as sweet as you are you could hurt me." It seems to fully click in Tommy's head what I'm trying to communicate to him. "I could never hurt you, I wont let anyone hurt you." Tommy lets go of my hands and sticks out his pinky finger. I laugh, he reminds me of a small child. 

I stick out my pinky finger to appease him. Our fingers intertwine and butterfly's fill my stomach. "I promise I'll never hurt you." he whispers and I believe him. "I promise I wont disappear again." Tommy brings our interlocked fingers up to his face a places a light kiss on my hand. "You cant break a pinky promise." He sends me the sweetest smile. Maybe he is a two year-old stuck in an eighteen year-olds body.

He smiles and I smile back. I love him.