Eighty-two

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Mitch sits at the kitchen counter smoking a cigarette just thinking about everything.

Coming to terms with the fact that he's dead and stuck in this house forever.

Then the gay couple in the house thinking they're going to take his mom and dad's twin sons, he's stressed.

Understandably.

Connie then comes bursting through the back door into the kitchen.

"My Brown Betty turns to Black Betty in twenty minutes. So tell me what this is all about." Connie says sternly looking at Mitch.

Mitch blows smoke out of his mouth and nose while he looks up at Connie.

"I need help. Do you remember those two guys that lived here before us?" Mitch asks.

Connie laughs. "Frick and Frack? How could I forget?"

"Well, they're upstairs, and they're planning to kidnap my mother's babies...and raise them themselves."

Connie then goes into protective mood and sighs loudly.

"Well, let me assure you. That is never going to happen." Connie says.

"My mom's on her way back from the hospital today. And I don't trust them. I called 'cause I want to talk to that woman. The Craigslist psychic." Mitch explains.

"Kirstin Taylor? What about?" Connie asks.

"Getting rid of ghosts! There must be a way." Mitch says.

He then stands up and starts to pace back and forth in the kitchen while Connie lights a cigarette.

Connie sighs again and blows the smoke out of her mouth.

"Don't worry. I'll take care of it." She says as she gets up and walks out of the kitchen.

**

"Alex? Alex?" Connie calls out as she walks up the large spiral staircase going to the second floor of the house.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are."

Connie walks left down the long hallway and opens the second door of the right.

She opens the door to find two cribs and mobiles playing music as Connie enters slowly.

She puts her cigarette out in the can of paint as she can't believe how the room is already set up for Nel's twins.

Connie walks over to touch the red crib on the right, but is caught off guard by someone else in the room.

"Put your skanky claw on that crib, you'll be pulling away a bloody stump." Alex says with a glass of wine in hand.

Connie chuckles.

"Where did you find these?" She asks.

"Around. You'd be amazed at the little forgotten treasures left behind by previous occupants." Alex says.

"What you are planning to do is unnatural."

"Deodorant's unnatural, but it's a public good. We'll make excellent parents."

Alex takes a sip of his wine and looks away from Connie.

"Man shall not lie with man. It is an abomination." Connie says.

"So's that hairdo, but I figure that's your business." Alex spats back.

Connie laughs again.

"Why can't you just content yourself with having pets? Why must you subject an innocent child to your perversions?" Connie says.

She begins to look around the room as if she's uncomfortable now.

"There's nothing in the studies that indicates being raised by a same-sex couple has any ill effects on children. I assume the same applies to the formerly living." Alex says.

"Well, the only study I know is the study of blood and pain. My children came out of my body, and that is something that you will never be able to understand." Connie says pointing her boney finger at Alex.

Alex chuckles and starts playing with his glass of wine.

He knows how to get under Connie's skin and that's exactly what he's going to do.

"Lady, just because you happen to be the hole they crawled out of doesn't mean a goddamn thing."

"It means everything."

"Right. Sure. That's why I can't even walk through my own home without tripping over one of your dead offspring."

Connie's eyes begin to fill with eyes as all those memories come flooding back to her brain.

She can't let Alex see that his words are getting to her though.

Connie tries to remain calm.

"I loved my children."

"To death."

"They are a part of me, just like that unborn child is a part of me, and I will not have you put your filthy hands on my grandchild!" Connie yells.

Alex puts down is glass on the changing table and turns back around to meet Connie's eyes.

He smirks.

"Grandchild?" Alex questions.

Connie then realizes the accident she made in telling Alex that.

"Wait a minute. Are you telling me that Norman Bates Jr is the baby daddy?" Alex asks.

Connie just gives him a look to confirm his questions.

Alex laughs again and covers his faces from Connie.

"You gotta love this house."

Connie then walks closer to Alex.

"Listen to me. You can have the other one. The one fathered by Dr. Grassi, but not my grand baby." Connie says trying to reason with Alex.

"A blond and a brunet...just like me and Shawn. It's perfect. No. We definitely need both." Alex says.

Connie chuckles and begins to look Alex up and down.

"God you're vile. You're not suited to raise children." Connie says with such hate in her voice.

"Raise them? Oh no, honey, no, no, no. We're going to wait till they reach that perfect, adorable age - around a year, year and a half or so - and then we're going to smother them with hypoallergenic pillows. That way they'll be cute forever." Alex explains.

He then walks out of the room leaving Connie with her thoughts as the mobile continues to play music.

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